they don’t brush it.
I hug my teddy to my chest so tight, I’m sure I suffocate him.
“They just need help, princess.” Dad crouches in front of me. “Now go back to your room.”
“They don’t have a teddy,” I say.
“No, they don’t,” Daddy says with sadness.
I frown, tears filling my eyes.
Everyone should have a teddy bear. Mine is my favourite toy. Daddy gave it to me when I was three and I never leave without him. He’s my sleeping buddy and my friend. We have tea parties together.
But Daddy says they need help, so they need Ted more than me.
“Here,” I offer them Ted. “He’ll help you. Take care of him, okay? He doesn’t like to be cold and he doesn’t like swimming.”
The one with lighter eyes takes it from my hand with a sheepish smile.
My gaze falls to their knees. They’re all red and bloody.
“Daddy! They’re hurt!”
* * *
I’m thrown back to the present with a gasp. I stare at the scene in front of me with bugged eyes.
My gaze bounces between Ted, Knox, and Teal.
My heart nearly stops beating when I squint. Both Knox and Teal have faded horizontal scars on their right knees. Just like the scar Eli had after falling from his bike.
It’s them.
Knox and Teal are the first ones Ma hurt.
Aiden and I aren’t the only survivors.
7
Elsa
During breakfast the following day I keep to myself and barely touch my food.
Usually, I would participate in Knox’s conversations, but today, I can’t even look him in the eye.
Not after what I remembered yesterday.
Dad and Agnus are talking about stocks and the FTSE 100. Knox gave up on anyone hearing him out, so he just plays around with Teal’s food. She kicks him under the table, the sound echoing in the dining room. He howls as if he’s being murdered.
I wonder if he screamed when Ma cut his knee back then.
Don’t.
If I allow those dark thoughts to sweep over me, I won’t be able to function. I would stay up all night, hugging my knees to my chest, like I did last night.
I continue lowering my head so neither Teal nor Knox can see my heated cheeks or the pricking of my skin.
Can the earth open up and swallow me?
What would it be like if Aiden was sitting beside me right now? For one, he wouldn’t feel ashamed. For two, he would know how to deal with this situation.
Damn you, mind. Aren’t we supposed to block him out?
It’s only been three days since I last saw him. Meaning, he and his fucking engagement are fresh in my mind.
Nope, brain. That’s not how it works. Block him out. Block him the fuck out.
“We’ll be in my office if you need anything, princess.” Dad and Agnus stand.
I was too caught up in a conversation with my brain to notice they stopped talking.
Dad smiles down at me. “Let’s go for horse riding afterwards.”
“I don’t know how to ride a horse.”
“You do.” He smiles. “We’ll just have to refresh your memories.”
It’s only after he and Agnus disappear at the top of the stairs that I recall I’m at the table with Knox and Teal.
Alone.
Oh, God. What the hell am I supposed to do now?
Run? No, that would be rude.
Hide under the table? That’d be crazy.
I slap a generous amount of jam on my toast and take my time shaping it like I’m an artist or something. At this point, I would do anything to escape their company, but I don’t trust my legs enough to carry me out of here.
“Are you okay?” Knox bites into a scone. “You’ve been silent since last night’s dinner.”
Teal stares at me from underneath her long, thick lashes but says nothing.
You’re an adult. Own up to it, dammit.
Taking a deep, shaky breath, I finally lift my head, still clutching the toast.
Two pairs of eyes watch me closely. Hazel eyes and midnight eyes.
That’s why both Knox and Teal looked so familiar when I first met them — or met them again.
“I remember meeting you years ago.” My voice is heavy with clogged emotions. I can barely breathe, let alone talk. “I’m sorry for what Ma did. I-I’m so sorry.”
“Finally.” Knox taps his chest. “I was hurt when you didn’t remember me. It hit me right in the tiny white space in my heart.”
“Your apology means shit to me,” Teal speaks casually as she sips her coffee. “It doesn’t give me back what I lost.”
I wince.
“You sound like a bitch, T,” Knox says with nonchalance like it’s a normal occurrence.