be on my own. Hell, maybe I didn’t deserve a woman like Baker.
And that would be a dangerous thing to forget.
Chapter Nine
Holt
“What is this place?”
Baker turned in a circle, looking around the dilapidated space with curious eyes.
I shoved my hands into my pockets and kicked at some of the dirt on the floor. “I was thinking of starting my own garage.”
Light clicked as she flicked her gaze toward the roll-up door and back around the space. “Looks like this would be a good place to do it.”
“I can lease to own the whole building. There’s an apartment upstairs. A loft with plenty of room for you to set up shop for making your cosmetics.” I realized the implication of my words as soon as I said them. That whatever future I had, I imagined Baker in it. But how? How did I get to this point with a woman I'd only known a little over three months? And why had I said that out loud?
Her lips parted, an expression somewhere on the spectrum between surprised and horrified flitted across her face. I dug my hands into my pockets, despite that there was nowhere else for them to go. I hadn’t expected her to jump for joy, but I didn’t think she’d look at me like it was the worst idea she’d ever heard.
“Holt,” she said carefully.
I spun around, pretending to inspect something behind me. I couldn’t look at her when she told me no. Until this moment, I didn’t realize how much her answer meant to me. Which was insane. We’d been roommates for weeks. This boundary that separated friendship and something more had barely been breached.
But when I’d found this place, I’d immediately thought of her. I’d wondered if she would even want something like this, was nervous to show it to her. Cosmetics and car repair didn’t exactly go hand in hand, but that hadn’t mattered.
My entire adult life had been one impulsive move after another. The decision to go to Wyoming for college. To be a park ranger. Coming back to New York. Moving in with Baker. This place.
I never thought things through, I just ran from whatever problems plagued me. But I was quickly burning through places to run. The city was where my family was. Even if it hurt being in the same vicinity of my mother, it was equally painful being away from Dad, Andrew, Marlow, and Blake.
When I’d set foot in this space, it felt right. Then again, Wyoming had felt that way too and it had turned to complete and utter shit. I should know better than anyone that things didn’t just fall into place, even though New York seemed to be doing just that.
Having my own business wouldn’t be easy, but I’d been working on cars on the side for as long as I could remember. I’d made decent money as a ranger and mechanic, lived modestly, and had enough saved where this wouldn’t sink me. I might have to scrimp while I restored the building and built up a clientele, but it wasn’t impossible. Hard. But definitely doable.
And I wanted Baker to see what I saw here.
“We could be the kind of place where women are comfortable to come get their car repaired and not feel like they need a man with them. Where they know they won’t be taken advantage of. And the ones that wait might like to see your makeup.” I was rambling, yet couldn’t seem to shut up. It kept her from flat out rejecting me. Because I didn’t think I could take that.
I wandered over to the space customers would see and pointed to the long wall. “Here. We could display your products.” It was easy to envision one of those lit up counters like at a department store. “A mirrored wall might be nice.”
I turned to look at Baker. She was rooted in the same spot, staring at me with an unreadable expression. My confidence took a nose dive. I’d hoped if she saw this place, the potential, that she’d share my vision.
“What about your job in Wyoming?”
I swallowed hard. That was about the last thing I’d expected out of her mouth. “I had no idea you were so anxious to get rid of me.”
The bitterness of my words caught me off guard. I’d never given it a second thought to show her this place. Lay out my dreams. Even if she didn’t want any part of it, I’d wanted her to see me.