wood grain for several seconds. My heart and body hummed. I was so physically aware of him now. Pieces began to slide into place. An understanding. My body felt too heavy and too light at the same time, like I’d float away save for the heat planting me in place. I was so physically attracted to him. I’d buried the feelings since he’d started under the assumption it was the kind of crush kids developed on their teachers, or like, your dad’s sophisticated friends. The type of crush you get for someone you respect because of their expertise. It was totally harmless, and you were perfectly safe in liking them from afar.
This was not that.
This was a game changer. This was genuine grown-woman-on-man, full-on, insane attraction. My body wanted to slam on his body. My arms longed to pull him close, desperate to feel his weight on me. In me.
I let out a long, slow, shaky breath.
But that wasn’t the only thing that had me studying the door for far too long, feet firmly planted in place. It was the other revelation that slipped in. It hadn’t clicked at first. The startlingly handsome grown man in front of me didn’t match the memory of the teen. I was so sidetracked by his body, my brain had stalled out temporarily. But when you spend enough time looking at someone, they’re permanently implanted in your memories. Honestly, the most surprising thing about all this was that I hadn’t placed those mesmerizing eyes sooner.
His beard was another distraction. Thick and full. Long enough to tug my fingers through but not scraggly in the least. It was another layer to hide the face behind it. But I saw it. And once I saw it, there was no unseeing it. The glass had shattered.
Despite his best attempts, I’d seen his face and what he’d kept hidden. I saw the truth of what he hid. I understood so much more now.
Devlin was Erik Jones.
Oh my God.
Chapter 15
Performance is vulnerability.
DEVLIN
I couldn’t move, immobilized by shock and horror. My body felt rigid with icy fear. It coiled in my gut, ready to bite like a viper. Had that really just happened? I glanced at the shut door. I examined my still naked body, the towel held in place over my face. Had I really chosen to cover that over my …
“Jesus,” I swore out loud.
This was not what I needed. I had tried to set boundaries and expectations with her last weekend. All tossed out the window in a matter of three seconds. And now this.
I did a double take down at my naked body. I sported a half-woody.
“Seriously?” I asked it.
It jumped in response.
Why did she have to look so pleased? The shocked “O” of her mouth. Those blushing cheeks. The greedy gaze that kept flicking back over me. My cock jumped again. I clenched my jaw and threw the superfluous towel to the floor.
Outside the door, the shadow of her feet remained.
I flicked off the exhaust fan. The fan that had blocked out her knock. I could almost feel her standing right outside the door. Somebody else might have closed their eyes and left in a hurry, maybe a dramatic squeal, but not Kim. No, she mentally ate up the real estate of my body like it was the last thing she might ever do.
I closed my eyes and rested my forehead on the door. I was rock hard now.
“Ahem,” she cleared her throat and knocked.
Go away, go away.
I wasn’t sure who, or what, I was talking to at this point.
“Um, Devlin?”
I let out a long slow breath. “Yes?”
“I just want to apologize.” Her tone was far more composed than how I felt.
“Okay.”
“I did knock. And I didn’t mean to barge in. Down here or on your family dinner. I was just dropping off my cello, like we discussed. I was about to leave but then your brother sent me down—”
Brothers were overrated. I was going to murder Wes.
“But he said I should tell you that dinner was ready. Oh, yeah. That’s what I was gonna say. Dinner is ready,” she added with a nervous laugh.
“Okay.”
“Also.”
Oh God.
“You should know that I saw your penis.” Her business-like tone distracted me for a flash before the words sunk in. My eyes popped open. I hadn’t expected her to own up to it. Couldn’t we ignore the elephant—or rather, the eggplant—in the room?
“I didn’t mean to do that either.” But her voice lifted, and I could tell she was