said, I’m Maren Barnes. I’m an adjunct and you guys are my last Acting I class before I move up to the big leagues and teach Acting II.” She smiles. “Essentially, if you continue on in the program, you’re stuck with me.” She giggles. “I’m originally from Baltimore and did my graduate work at UC Davis before farting around trying to get commercial gigs in L.A. for a few years. You’re looking at the face of Torrance Flooring World, I’ll have you know. So, that was depressing and I decided to move to the great Northwest, live in a condo with a mildew problem, and teach you lovelies.” She nods to the blond girl next to her, sporting a tiny silver nose ring and expensive outdoor clothes that look like they were actually used to go on actual hikes because her body is perfect and fit.
“I’m Sybil. I’m an Enviro studies major and I’m taking this class as an elective. It seemed active and fun.” She gives us a megawatt smile. “I’ll probably suck, but that’s okay. I’m always up for an adventure. Oh, I’m from Whidbey Island up near Seattle.”
“Welcome Sybil.”
The next girl to go has long, glossy black hair and warm brown skin. “My name is India. I’m from the Bay area. I’m in the dance program, but thinking of doubling in Theatre.”
“Hey!” I pipe up. “You might know my roommate Elizabeth Danes? She’s a sophomore in the ballet program.”
India nods, but looks past me. “Yeah, cool, I recognize the name. I do mostly modern, but we collaborate with the ballerinas from time to time.”
After her, two more girls share - Evelyn and Cassandra. Both are pretty in an interesting way, Evelyn with her auburn hair and blue eyes, and Cassandra with her huge green eyes and long, long legs. They’re freshmen and roommates in the Creative Arts dorm that I lived in last year, both interested in becoming Theatre majors right out of the gate. I can tell they got all the leads in their high school plays. They are that girl.
Liam is up next. “I’m Liam Garrett. I’m a senior Spanish major. I am also taking this class as an elective.”
“Getting it in under the wire, huh?” Maren teases.
He smiles and then licks his lips. “I don’t know why I waited so long. I, uh, worked crew on all the plays in high school and always really enjoyed it, so this should be fun. I’m from Boise. That’s about it.”
I notice the rest of the class is paying just as much attention to Liam as I am, which isn’t surprising. There are fourteen women in the class and six men: three are definitely gay, one is questionable, then Liam, and a weird older guy who has to be auditing.
We finish up the sharing. The old guy’s name is Steve and he’s taking the class for fun while he gets his doctorate in Iranian Studies. The three gays are Jake, Jacob, and Jackson, if you can fucking believe it, and I resist the urge to claim them as MY gays before India can get her hands on them.
“I’m Dani Walker. I hail from the great state of Illi-noise. DeKalb. Home of Corn Fest and barbed wire and Cindy Crawford? No? It’s a booming metropolis of farmland about an hour from Chicago.”
“NIU is there, right?” Maren asks.
“Yup. And before you ask why I didn’t go to school in my hometown, you should probably look up DeKalb and see for yourself. I mentioned Corn Fest, right?”
Liam grins at me.
“Anyhoo, I’m a sophomore. I was an English major, but I’m switching to Theatre. You probably can’t tell just by looking at me because I’m off my fashion game when the sun is shining, but I got alllll of the minor and supporting roles in my community and high school productions. I was the Cook in Alice in Wonderland, twice. Be not afraid, you won’t see any divaesque behavior from me. I’m more Tina Cohen Chang than Rachel Berry.” I shrug. “That’s me.”
Maren gets on her feet. “I think this class is going to be awesome. Let’s get started on those warm-ups.”
We all stand while Maren leads us through a series of stretches and yoga poses before moving on to the vocal exercises. Clearly, the embarrassing part.
“Wheeeooooooooooo!”
“Wheeeooooooooooo!” we echo.
“Blah, blah, blah.” Maren opens her mouth wide and sticks her tongue out.
Liam catches my eye while we’re both mid-kabuki lion and cracks up when we shift into squinchy lemon face.
“Now that we’re