behind my office door, a stack of papers firmly in my grip, and pep talked myself into heading upstairs.
I got back on Saturday and skipped the family dinner last night because I wasn’t sure my week away with Daniel wouldn’t be written all over my face. I dreaded the thought of them knowing I slept with him. I dreaded them knowing that I’d begun falling for him.
I dreaded anyone knowing that.
Especially Daniel, the man who didn’t do relationships.
We’d promised friendship and no feelings, and here I was, trying to calm my racing heart just thinking of him.
I couldn’t even blame it on the sex. This feeling, these butterflies and warmth, and tingling awareness had been there for a while. A slow build that consumed me on this trip. The sex had only made it so apparent, not even I could deny it anymore.
And if I couldn’t deny it, how the hell was I supposed to hide it?
“Ugh.” I barely managed to stop from banging my head on the door. Taking a deep breath, I stood up straight, shoulders back, chin high. “I can do this. I can be a blank face. No one has to know anything. If worse comes to worst, just run away. Totally rational.”
Having talked myself up enough, I opened the door and proceeded to walk right into a wall, dropping my stack of papers.
“Oh, shit.”
“Fuck, I’m sorry,” we said at the same time.
Sean crouched down with me to help me stack the papers.
“It’s totally my fault. I was in a zone,” I excused.
“No, no. I wasn’t looking where I was going.”
We stood, and I finally met his blue eyes, so much darker than Daniel’s. He gave a soft smile, bringing out the dimple I used to get lost staring at. Now, I found myself looking past him, down the hall to where I needed to go.
“How was your trip?”
“Oh, good,” I said, bringing my attention back to him.
“We—I missed you around the office.”
His words were soft, only for me, and my cheeks flamed at the intimacy. A couple of weeks ago, I was desperate to flirt with this man, to find the courage to go on a date with him, but now all I saw when I looked at him was not Daniel.
Trying to hide my reaction, I dropped my head, looking at the floor. “Yeah, it was a long trip. But my first vacation. So, yeah.”
My cheeks flamed hotter with each stuttering word. This time it wasn’t because of a rush of adrenaline thinking about flirting with him, but more about how unbelievably awkward I felt. I needed to get going before I made it worse.
“Well, I should—”
“Now that you’re back—”
We spoke at the same time, and he gestured for me to talk first.
I held up my stack of papers like a shield. “I should get these dropped off.”
He ran a hand through his hair and stepped back enough to be noticeable, but quickly covered it with a smile. “Yeah. Sure. Maybe I’ll see you around the lunchroom again. Missed those math puns.”
“You know what they say. Math puns are the first sine of madness,” I said, walking past him, giving an awkward laugh to go with the lame pun.
Still, he smiled, and all I could think was that it didn’t affect me like it did before. Not like Daniel’s.
I skipped the elevator and took the stairs, waving to Erik’s assistant, Laura, as I passed.
“He’s not in right now,” she said.
I almost sagged in relief at not having to face him.
“But Alex is in there. His meeting is running late, so she’s waiting.”
Shit. Alex was worse than Erik. She’d see through the best of masks I could create. I considered dropping the papers off with Laura and avoiding the office altogether, but deep down, I didn’t hate the idea of talking to Alex. She’d give me shit, but she’d also listen, and maybe that was what I needed.
“Hey,” I said, pushing the door open and closing it behind me. I’d need privacy and a sign if Erik was back. God forbid he overhear anything.
“Hey to you,” Alex greeted from behind Erik’s desk. “Long time, no see. How was your vacation?”
“Good.” And just like that, I blushed and smiled. “Great, actually.”
When I found the courage to peek up from under my lashes across the room, Alex had both eyebrows pushed high over wide eyes.
“What?” I asked, all innocence.
She blinked unimpressed.
“Come on. I brought Erik lunch, but he’s not here to eat it, and I have a