my bedroom. Once I walked into my room, I shut the door and sat on my bed. I pulled up Linnzi’s number and hit Call. I had been calling her off and on until her phone finally just started going straight to voicemail. It was either dead or she had turned it off.
My heart hammered in my chest as I waited to leave my message. Once it beeped, I somehow forced my throat to work. “Linz, I’ve been searching all night for you. I’m back home. Please call me…I’m here, baby. I’m here and I really want to see you. Hold you. P-please…L-Linz…please come back. Don’t go through this all alone. I’m here. I lo…lo…”
I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to get control of my emotions. Taking in a shaking breath, I blew it out and said, “I love you so much. I love you. God, I love you.”
My hand dropped to my lap and I hit End. I laid down on the bed and cried as I stared up at the ceiling, praying for Linnzi to come back to me.
Nolan
THE SOUND OF voices caused me to glance up from the drink I held in my hand. Truitt looked at me as Jack appeared at his side. Both of them wore concerned expressions.
“How long has he been like this?” Jack asked as he rubbed at the back of his neck.
“A week,” Truitt replied.
“I may be drunk, but I understand clearly that you’re talking about me, assholes,” I said with a slight slur, leaning back in the chair and smirking at them both.
Jack tilted his head and regarded me for a moment. Most likely attempting to figure out how drunk I actually was. Not as drunk as I wanted to be, that was for sure.
“Your leave is almost up, Nolan. You only had two weeks. You can’t fly back if you’re drunk,” Jack stated.
With a half shrug, I reached for more whiskey and downed it.
“No word from her?” Jack asked Truitt.
Truitt looked at me, and I lifted a brow and then nodded. Truitt turned to Jack with a slight shake of his head. “She sent one text message to her parents and Nolan. It said she was fine and needed time alone. That was it.”
Jack exhaled and shook his head. “At least she texted you. Give her some time, Nolan. She needs time to grieve so many different things.”
I wanted to laugh. “Time. Don’t you think I’ve already given her enough fucking time?”
Jack sighed and looked at Truitt. “I don’t think I’ve seen him this drunk in a long time.”
Truitt nodded.
“Still understanding every word, guys.”
Turning to face me, Jack shook his head. “We need to get your ass sober, Nolan, and get you back to Edwards.”
I pulled in a deep breath through my nose and then quickly exhaled. “I had just gotten her back. Call me selfish, but I think I honestly hoped she’d never remember. I didn’t want her to feel the pain that I’ve felt for the last eight fucking years.” I let out a bitter laugh. “Or maybe it’s because I knew the moment she found out, she’d leave me…for good.”
“She’s not going to leave you. She loves you too much.” Jack walked up to me and reached his hand out. “Come on, let’s go get in the shower,” he said, taking the bottle of whiskey off the table and handing it to Truitt.
Truitt walked into the kitchen and dumped it down the kitchen drain.
“For fuck’s sake. That was a good bottle of whiskey!” I cried out.
Jack grabbed a kitchen chair, spun it around, and sat down on it as he stared at me. “You think that whiskey is going to help?” he asked with one narrowed eye.
“Well, I couldn’t really get up in a plane or jump out of one right now, so it was doing the trick.”
“Was it really? Because from where I’m sitting, you look miserable as fuck. You can’t drink yourself into numbness, Nolan. You’ve tried it before, and it didn’t work.”
All I could do was nod, knowing he was right.
“What if she walked back through that door right now? Is this what you’d want her to find?” Jack asked with a disgusted look on his face.
My eyes jerked up, and I gave him a cold stare. “Fuck you, Jack. You have no fucking idea what I’m feeling or going through, so don’t sit there and judge me.”
He held up his hands. “You’re right, Byers, I have no idea. I do know that