honey, I think you’re going to find him, sooner than you think.”
I placed my hand on my lower stomach to calm my nerves and whispered, “I hope so, Saryn, I really hope so.”
Nolan
One week earlier
MY PHONE BUZZED in my pocket, and I quickly pulled it out. “What do you want? I’m on vacation!” I shouted.
“Nolan? Where in the hell are you? What’s that noise?”
I laughed at the surprise in my best friend’s voice. “Truitt! I’m about to jump out of a helicopter.”
“On purpose? And what the hell are you doing taking my call then?”
“Yes, on purpose. And I figured it was important if you were calling me, bro.”
There was a moment of silence before he whisper-shouted, “Dude, are you on some secret mission?”
“No, I’m in Rio de Janeiro, jumping out for the hell of it. And I’m not a spy, dumbass. Don’t you know what I do for a living, man?”
Truitt sighed, or at least I thought he might have sighed. It was hard to hear him. Finally he said, “Because it’s not like your job is dangerous enough, now you’re jumping out of a helicopter.”
“What’s up? They’re waiting on us!” I yelled over the roar of the helicopter firing up.
“Right. Okay, so Nolan turns two next week and we’d love for you to be able to make it to the birthday party. After all, he is your godchild.”
“Next week?” I shouted.
“Yes, Saturday!” Truitt yelled back.
A part of me dreaded the idea of going anywhere near Boerne. But I also wanted to see Truitt and Saryn, as well as the kids.
“No promises, but I’ll be there if I can.”
Jack slammed my back and yelled, “Let’s go!” Then ran to the helicopter and jumped in.
“Listen, I’ve got to go.”
I could hear Truitt sigh. “Okay, call me later so I know you didn’t kill yourself, you lunatic.”
“Right! Kiss Saryn and the kids!”
After I hit End, I zipped my phone back up and headed to the helicopter and jumped in. It didn’t take us long to get to the altitude we needed to jump.
I looked over at Jack who held up three fingers to let me know we had three minutes until deployment. I nodded as a rush of adrenaline hit me and I forgot all about Boerne and the idea of heading back home and facing memories I’d worked so hard at forgetting.
Jack held up one finger to signal we had one minute as he started to make his way out of the helicopter. Pete, our other friend, looked at me and shook his head as I laughed. I was positive he was wondering how in the hell I had talked him into this. We both climbed down and stood on the edge of the landing skid. Then, Jack lifted his hand and gave me a thumbs up.
Pete looked like he was about to get sick. The three of us each had GoPros attached to our helmets. My pulse pounded, and I looked out at the blue sky dotted with white clouds. I needed this. Craved it. Fucking lived for it. This wasn’t anything new for me. I had jumped out of plenty of planes, but the helicopter was a new experience for me. Skydiving was a huge adrenaline rush, and I was addicted to anything that gave me a rush. Anything that made me forget my past.
We moved down, holding onto the landing skid with our hands. I heard Jack count down. “Five, four, three, two, go!”
I launched my body out. It felt so freeing. The rush of the freefall was unreal, yet at the same time, it was one of the most beautiful moments one could ever experience. Off to one side was the ocean, a sea of blue and green. On the other side, a view of Rio de Janeiro and the mountains took my breath away.
I would never get tired of this. And the more times I did it, the better it was. It never got old. A moment when I allowed myself, for only the briefest of times, to not be in control. Even if it did only last five minutes, it was five minutes where I didn’t have to think about anything else.
Five minutes later, we were back on the ground. Hands slapping and smiles on our face. With the exception of Pete. He never was one for jumping out of planes, and now he could add helicopter to the list of perfectly good modes of transportation he’d much rather stay seated in.
“I need a drink,”