I was telling her tonight,” I said. “I even told her I needed to talk to her. I was going to tell her tonight.”
“Steve! Nolan!”
Steve quickly squeezed my shoulder and then walked down the steps of the attic without saying a word to me. I followed and tried to push away the urge to throw up.
Amy appeared in the hallway from Linnzi’s room. “Her passport is still here.”
I let out a sigh of relief.
Steve sighed as he leaned against the hallway wall. “Nolan, is there any place that was special between the two of you, a place that holds meaning for you both?”
“A few places.”
He nodded, a look of utter defeat on his face. “Have Truitt take you back to the ranch, get in your truck and go to each place. Amy and I will start driving around, checking hotels, asking anyone if they’ve seen her.”
Truitt. I had completely forgotten about Truitt.
Amy suddenly stood up straighter and cleared her throat. “We’ll find her. Don’t worry. We will find her.”
All I could do was nod and then numbly make my way back down to the first floor. Truitt stood from the couch and made his way over to me. “Did she leave a note, anything?”
I shook my head. “No. Nothing.”
“She left your keys on the side table. I saw them when I walked in.”
“Good. Good. Will you take me home to get my truck? Then I’ll go looking for her.”
“I’ll take you home to change, then I’ll drive while we look for her. I already called Saryn and filled her in. She told me she’d call Ryan for a ride home. He left the dinner early.”
I nodded. “You go and get her. I’ll be fine.”
“You’re in no condition to drive, Nolan.”
I lacked the energy to even argue with him. All I could do was agree and follow him out the door. Truitt picked up my keys, and before I knew it, we had pulled up to my house.
“Would she have gone anywhere here on the ranch?” he asked.
“I don’t think so,” I mumbled as I stumbled out of the truck and up the steps to my front door.
Truitt took my arm and pulled me to a stop before I reached the door. “Nolan, we’ll find her.”
I exhaled and gave a shaky nod. “Let me go change.”
Five hours later, Truitt and I walked into my house and stepped into the foyer. No one had seen or heard from Linnzi. We had checked everywhere we could think to go and called everyone we could think of calling. Now I took a few steps into the house and then reached for a vase and hurled it across the room where it smashed and broke into a million pieces.
“Goddammit! Fuck! Son-of-a-bitch! Motherfucker!” I yelled as I picked up a lamp and sent it flying across the room as well.
Truitt sighed next to me and then walked past. “Go get some sleep, Nolan.”
“I can’t fucking sleep, Truitt. Where in the hell is she? Why in the hell would she run? What was she thinking!?”
He walked into the kitchen, opened the pantry, and pulled out the broom and dustpan. As he made his way to the mess, he spoke. “I think we all know the reason she ran, Nolan. If that sonogram triggered every memory that she’s been running from, the only thing she knows is that we all kept it from her. I can only imagine that she’s hurting, angry, confused. Maybe she doesn’t want to be found right now.”
I stared at him as he got to work sweeping up the glass. My body swayed, and I was physically and emotionally spent.
Closing my eyes, I felt myself sink to the sofa. I dropped my head into my hands and fought to keep my emotions in check. “She’s never going to forgive me,” I whispered.
“You don’t know that. Give her time. She’s not going to do something stupid.”
“You didn’t see her holding Amanda in her arms that night. You didn’t hear the pain and anguish in her voice when she realized our daughter was—”
I cut off my words and looked away from Truitt.
“I’m not going to lie and tell you I know how you’re feeling, Nolan. I cannot even begin to imagine. She has her phone—I’d call her, stay calm, and just let her know you’re here. When she needs you, you’re here.”
I exhaled and stood. With shaking hands, I pulled my phone out of my pocket and then made my way up the steps and to