work is still sitting there from yesterday. I had forgotten all about it. I pick up the remote and flick through a few channels before I settle for a rerun of Friends.
I hungrily get through the chicken then get up to wash my hands. I’m eager to finally open this card and unlock the mystery of who sent it. I trace my finger under the flap of the card and rip.
I pull the card out, and it says, ‘To the birthday girl’.
I frown at the juvenile card but smile again as I open it up. I feel all the color drain from my face as I read what it says inside. The worst part isn’t what it says, but … who sent it.
11
Fear like no other creeps up my spine as I read what the card says, my fingers trembling as I hold it in my hand.
Dear Ana,
You’ve been a hard lady to find, and I now know that’s because you’ve changed your name. It’s nice. I saw your picture in the paper, and I must say you’ve turned into a beautiful woman.
You slipped away from me all those years ago, but now I’ve found you! Not a moment goes by that I don’t think about that night and what could have been. Bearing that in mind, I’m owed—don’t you think? You’ll see me soon sweet, Ana. I’ll certainly be seeing you soon. Have a great birthday.
Love,
A
My hands are viciously shaking by this point, and my heart beats frantically in my chest. Every sound in the apartment is amplified, and pretty soon I turn into a paranoid freak, thinking he’s in the apartment somewhere. My breathing picks up, and the panic rises like never before. I have no one here to help me through this. Jake was there through most of my panic attacks. He always knew exactly what to do to calm me down, but now I’m all alone.
My head spins, making me feel dizzy, so I grip onto the coffee table with all my might. As the edges of my eyes darken, I recall what Dr. Townsend told me to do once the panic starts. Looking around the room, I settle my eyes on a painting above Jessie’s TV. It’s a beautiful painting of a meadow. I take in deep breaths and concentrate on the colors and the way the painting flows across the canvas. I see a little boy who looks as though he is running, and I will myself to think about that, imagining him playing happily in the field. It feels like it takes longer than normal, but soon I am starting to see sense, enough sense to know that there is no one here with me. It’s just my irrational paranoia playing tricks on me.
The card is on the coffee table, but I don’t touch it. I don’t want to touch it. I need to speak to someone, but I don’t know who. I can’t talk to Jake as he doesn’t know anything about Alan. The only person I can speak with is Jessie, and I really don’t want to disturb her on her date with Jerry.
Suddenly, lightning strikes and I remember Agent Marcos. I run to grab my phone from my purse then scroll through it to see if I can find his number. I’m not sure I have it still from the last saga. I groan at the thought. What is he going to think of me? I bet he’ll wish I never moved here from England. I’ve been nothing but trouble since we met. I have to tell someone, though, plus he is the only official who already knows about Alan. As I’m looking, a text notification pops up from Michael, but I ignore it for now, concentrating on my task at hand. Once I find Agent Marcos’s number, I take another deep breath then dial it. After two rings he promptly answers using his surname. “Andrew, hi, it’s Ana.”
“Ana, how nice to hear from you. You sound upset. Is everything okay?”
I shut my eyes as my heartbeat accelerates again.
Please calm down.
“No, unfortunately I’m not. I really need you to see something. I think Alan knows where I am. I received a card from him.”
“Alan, Alan, Alan,” he repeats like he’s trying to jog his memory. I’m about to remind him when he blurts, “this was your stepfather, right? Alan … Martin, something like that?”
“Yes,” I answer quickly. “The one who attacked me when I was thirteen.”
“Where are you, in McLean?