personally shove his balls down his throat myself.”
“The only problem with that, Ana, is he’ll probably enjoy hearing that. The slimy little bastard.”
I throw my head back as laughter vibrates my throat. With renewed energy coursing through my veins, I promptly get myself out of bed. “Right, I’m definitely up now and heading for the shower.”
“Good, good. Oh, and just one more thing. It looks like a birthday card has arrived at work for you. Do you want me to bring it home? I don’t think it’s ticking.”
I roll my eyes at her comment. “Very funny. Yes, please. I’ll open it later. See you soon, hon.”
“Okay. Laters, babe.”
After hanging up, I make my way to the bathroom to get ready. Although the pain of Jake is still there, it’s a little more bearable after all the trouble everyone has gone through to let me know how much they care. It also helps that someone’s gone to the trouble of sending me a card. I’m intrigued to find out who that may be.
Pondering on that last thought, I get showered and dressed, making my way to the kitchen to make something to eat after I’m done. I bring my phone with me, but I sit and eat my cereal first.
Jake can wait.
Once I’m finished, I brace myself for what I’ll find. I check my text messages first and find that half a dozen are from Matthew, all begging me to call and wondering if I’m okay. The rest are from Jake.
Ana, please call me. We need to talk.
Please answer your phone. I need to explain.
I’m going out of my mind not being able to see you. I’m so sorry. Please see me. I miss you.
They’re all pretty much the same, so I delete each and every one of them. I mean, seriously … what does he expect? I’m certainly not entertaining the idea of seeing him with my mother back in the picture.
I put my phone back on the table, and just then another beep alerts me to a new message. I pick it up, and it’s Jake again.
Happy Birthday, Ana. I wish I could see you and talk to you. I need you to know how I feel. Nothing’s changed.
That’s the message that has me out of my seat and pacing the room. How dare he send me a message like that, telling me nothing’s changed? And in bold letters too! Everything has changed and there’s no going back.
With my resurfaced anger, I suddenly feel charged and decide the best course of action is to go for a run, so I hastily get myself ready then head out the door.
The day is a little duller than yesterday, but at least it’s not raining. I scan the clouds for any signs that it may in the next few minutes, but I don’t see any concerning for now. So I do my stretches then take off, filling my lungs with air. I pace myself as it has been a while since I’ve done any kind of exercise at all. I need some happy endorphins to kick in.
As I run past Walmart, I notice a nice clear path alongside it. It looks like the perfect running spot considering there’s a few runners and dog walkers using it themselves. With trees on either side, I can already see a hint of the beautiful fall colors taking shape. It looks magical, making a brief smile grace my lips at the sight.
After running along the path for a few minutes, I realize I’m completely on my own. Hairs on the back of my neck start to rise, but I shake myself out of it. I’m only feeling this way because it’s suddenly dawned on me that there’s nobody around.
However, as my pace quickens, so does my fear. My lungs protest so much that nausea erupts, causing me to slow my pace until I have no other option but to stop. Gasping for breath, I begin to feel the beginnings of a panic attack. My gaze swings left to right, glancing at every bush, tree, and pathway that my eyes can zero in on in order to find the threat. I don’t see a thing, and it’s then I remember the instructions Dr. Townsend gave me when I could feel a panic attack coming on.
Taking in deep breaths, I continue to gaze at my surroundings, and little by little, the panic subsides. I begin a slow and steady walk, but all the while, my eyes still scan