the heels of that announcement, he’d then asked the impossible of me. He wanted us to be friends. He claimed spending time with me somehow helped him deal with the horror of what had happened with his brother. I didn’t understand it, couldn’t define it—and for that matter, neither could he.
Unfortunately, I’d been swayed and then everything had gone, as my grandmother would say, “to hell in a handbasket” when he kissed me. The thing is I didn’t know that friendship between us was possible. The physical attraction had been there from the beginning, and it sizzled.
I’d made every attempt to downplay it in my mind, and apparently so had Nick. That turned out to be a colossal failure. All the proof we needed were the most recent kisses we’d shared.
Nick must have realized how impossible friendship was since I hadn’t heard from him all weekend. Maintaining a respectable distance was what I knew had to happen, but it left me depressed and miserable. I wandered around the inn, restless and bored, at loose ends with myself ever since. I stopped counting the number of times my thoughts drifted to Nick. Without provocation he bounced into my thoughts like a pesky mosquito. No matter how many times I swatted him away, he returned to torment me.
Because of the situation with Mark, Jo Marie was in and out of the inn, staying only long enough to snatch a few hours’ sleep, shower, and change clothes. I didn’t know how long she would be able to maintain this killing pace. Thankfully, I was available to help her and at the same time grateful to be busy with the inn’s tasks.
Luckily I’d been able to get out of my lease agreement with the apartment complex. It seemed Mark had done work at the apartment building and the owner was grateful and therefore willing to do what he could to help in Mark’s recovery. That included releasing me from a signed lease. Truth be known, I was more than happy to remain at the inn. It felt like home and I was content living here.
On Monday morning I’d cleaned the rooms and was loading sheets into the washer when the doorbell chimed. Rover let out a loud bark and I dumped what was left of the bedding onto the floor and went to answer the door. I wasn’t expecting guests this early and sincerely hoped I’d have more of a chance to set the inn in order before having to deal with the next set of visitors.
When I opened the door, Nick stood on the other side.
For one long moment all we did was stare at each other. Just seeing him made me feel light-headed.
“Hey,” he said and gave me a chin nod.
All I could do was stare back at him and try to convince myself that I would remain strong.
“Can I come in?” he asked.
My throat thickened. I resisted asking him what possible good would come of that. “Why?” I asked instead.
He held up several strips of paint samples. “I wanted to get your opinion on the colors for the kitchen. You were the one who suggested brown. I thought you were kidding, but you’ve got a good eye and I’d appreciate your advice.”
I remained frozen, unable to move. The paint choice was a weak excuse. Even knowing that, I stepped aside to let him inside.
Nick followed me into the kitchen and I automatically poured us both a cup of coffee. My hand shook and I was surprised that I managed to fill both mugs without spilling it. After I handed Nick the coffee, I turned and leaned my back against the counter, striving for a relaxed pose. And failed. I’d never been one who could ignore the elephant in the room, and I wasn’t about to start now.
“We both know this visit isn’t about paint, so say what you want to say and be done with it,” I urged.
He looked relieved, as though grateful I’d confronted him with the truth.
Before he could say anything, I felt I needed to reiterate the truth one more time. “I can’t be your friend, Nick. We both agreed there would be nothing physical between us, and then you kissed me. I’m not without feelings and I refuse to let you use me.”
He blinked at the abruptness of my claim as if I’d sucker-punched him. “I’m sorry, Em, so sorry.” His shoulders sagged with the weight of his regret. “I know I’m asking the impossible, but I