a bad word to say about anyone.’
‘Apart from me.’
‘I doubt it.’ Lottie hated the way Connor was coming on to her, even if he was drunk.
He rested his fingers on her arm. ‘I can’t help thinking that this is a big commitment. Can I do it? I – I don’t have a great track record.’
‘Just because we didn’t make it, doesn’t mean you can’t make a go of things with Keegan. She loves you,’ Lottie said, painfully aware of the irony that she was dishing out advice to Connor on marriage and relationships.
He sank onto the sofa and rubbed his face with his hands. ‘Do you think she does love me? We argue, you know.’
‘Doesn’t everyone?’
‘Jay saw us a few weeks ago. He didn’t think I’d spotted him and his dog but I had. We were arguing about the wedding and if we were rushing into this but I do love her.’
‘Love isn’t about abandoning someone when the going gets tough, when they’re ill or hurting. It’s about making sacrifices, setting your own dreams aside if need be, to help them through a dark time. It’s about not holding on to grudges and bitterness, or thinking “what if” the grass is greener somewhere else.’
She paused for breath.
‘Hmm. I can see you’re still holding on to a lot of anger …’ he said.
‘No, I’m not angry. I’m indifferent. Our time has gone, Connor. Feelings I had for you and held on to too long. I can’t tell you to marry Keegan …’ and, Lottie thought to herself, she was sure Keegan could do a lot better. Instead she simply said: ‘Don’t hurt her like you hurt me.’
‘You’ll talk to her though?’ Connor pleaded.
‘I can’t make any promises.’
She hurried out of the sitting room, closing the door on him. Upstairs, she let out a groan. She’d like to pretend Connor wasn’t in her house, shut out the fact he was sleeping on her sofa the night before his wedding to another woman. If he got any sleep, that is. She didn’t think she would. As for intervening with Keegan?
Judging by how angry Keegan must be, Lottie thought that was a sure-fire way to make sure the wedding never took place at all.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Six hours to the wedding
‘Hey, Trevor, my feet don’t need a wash!’
Jay woke to find Trevor poking a wet nose under the duvet and licking his toes.
‘OK. I’m getting up. What time is it?’ He twisted the digital alarm towards him and groaned. ‘Dude, it’s not even six a.m!’
Trevor sat by the bed, an expectant look in his eyes. Jay realised he’d have no choice but to exchange his cosy duvet for the cold darkness on the shortest day of the year.
He’d been having a very pleasant dream about Lottie, and what it would feel like to share the warmth of her body. He’d dreamed of waking up to see her hair spread over the pillow and her breathing softly beside him …
That kiss the other night had been incredible and made him totally determined to tell her how he felt about her. Just because she’d once loved Connor, didn’t mean she was still in love with her ex; in fact it was a ridiculous idea.
‘I really have been an idiot, haven’t I, Trev?’
Trevor stared at him.
Jay grinned. ‘Probably best you can’t answer that, buddy.’
Feeling as if a weight had been lifted from his mind, he threw off the duvet. ‘OK, you win, Trevor!’
Trevor lifted his head, with a look of astonishment, as if Jay had gone mad.
‘Early walk, buddy,’ he said. ‘A quick one because it’s cold and we have a lot to do today.’
Today was the day he would draw a line under all the doubts and fears, and put his trust in her, as he should have done weeks ago. Today, when the wedding was over, he would ask if they could start again. Maybe his Christmas could be a happy one after all, with Lottie by his side.
While he pulled on a thick sweater and jeans, Trevor processed the fact that he was actually off for a jaunt and yipped in anticipation. He trotted down the stairs, his tail thumping every newel post as he went. Jay followed, pulling on his coat while Trevor slurped up water from his bowl ready for his outing.
‘You won’t be so keen to go out when you see all that snow,’ Jay told him, lacing up his walking boots.
‘Woof!’ said Trevor, which Jay knew meant: ‘Don’t be ridiculous.’
Icy air took