last night, have you?’
‘Not yet,’ Lottie said, remembering Kerr’s concern with a smile. ‘But he did ask after you at the time.’
Steph shrieked in horror then held her head. ‘Ouch. Bloody hell. You mean he saw me in that state?’
‘He was concerned and he’d been trying to find you. He only wanted to help.’
‘Oh sh – oh why did I even have any wine at all! I’ve seen him picking his son up from school and thought he was tasty. He’s even better-looking close up and he’s funny … and kind. But even if he did want to ask me out, he won’t now after seeing me spread over the sofa in a drunken stupor.’
‘He was worried about you … and we told him you haven’t been well.’
‘That makes it worse! This bloody cancer. What guy would want to take on a woman with twins who might not make it until next bloody Christmas!’
‘You will make it,’ Lottie said firmly. ‘Come here. Big hug.’
After a moment, Lottie released her sister. ‘Now get some coffee down you and go back to bed if you need to. I’m sure Kerr will be in touch to see how you are.’
‘He doesn’t have my number.’
‘That’s easily solved,’ Lottie said. ‘I really have to go and see what state the ballroom’s in after the party and make sure there’s no damage. Help yourself to breakfast. If you can’t face toast, there’s streaky bacon and some fresh eggs in the fridge.’
‘Streaky bacon?’ Steph shuddered. ‘Yuk.’
‘If you want a really big fry-up, I think there’s even a spicy Cumberland sausage or two and some juicy black pudding.’
Steph put her hands over her ears. ‘Stop torturing me. I can never face fried food again.’ She stuck out her tongue in disgust. ‘Or alcohol come to that.’
‘Yeah, yeah … I believe you.’
‘Yes. Um. I am sorry I ran my mouth off. I didn’t mean to make your life harder. I’ll never forget what you did for me and the girls. What you still do. And I hope I haven’t caused too much friction with your gorgeous Jay.’
‘He’s not my Jay.’
‘I think he could be.’ Steph had a wicked look in her eye so she couldn’t be feeling too bad.
‘Get some rest and give the girls a huge kiss from me. Tell them I’m looking forward to their nativity play.’
‘Oh, no. I just remembered I need to make a donkey and a lobster costume!’
‘A lobster? In a nativity play? Good luck with that,’ Lottie said, heading for the stairs, leaving Steph to stew in her own juices.
She had a headache and dry mouth herself, partly from partying, but made worse by lying awake half the night. But she had work to do. She picked her way through slush en route to the big house. The leaden skies reflected her mood.
It was bad enough having to deal with and try to hide her own feelings of sadness about the wedding, now she was worrying about Jay’s reaction and she’d made Steph feel guilty. Technically, it was no business of Jay’s that she’d been engaged to Connor, or even close to him. She’d told no actual lies. However, it felt like a breach of trust not to have mentioned the extent of her connection with him. She had to speak to Jay as soon as it was practical and explain why she’d kept it quiet. Maybe she wouldn’t have been so worried about holding back the truth if she hadn’t cared about him so much. Their kiss on the terrace had been wonderful; now, she was sure that he felt she’d let him down.
She paused on the steps to the house.
Would it be easier to simply come clean with Jay now? Trouble was, how could she broach the subject when she still wasn’t exactly sure what Steph had told him about her relationship with Connor? She’d just have to play things by ear and hope for the best.
It was a dreary sight that greeted her when she walked into the ballroom. Most of the food and rubbish had all been cleared away by the caterers, but the floor was littered with silly string and party poppers. The murky daylight wasn’t enough to penetrate far so she threw the main light switch. It flickered and then illuminated the room.
She found a broom from the cleaners’ cupboard and started to sweep up, while checking that no damage had been done. There was a dirty scuff on the wall behind the celebrant’s dais so she