as much as she did.
They emerged from the plantation and reached the top of the estate. The sun had come out and the courtyard of buildings and estate stretched out below them. The lake ploughed a shining furrow through the valley, reflecting snow-topped mountains.
Without a word, they both stopped to admire the spectacular view. ‘Not too shabby, is it?’ Jay said. ‘But you must be used to it?’
‘Actually, it still takes my breath away and I’ve lived in the Lakes all my life.’
He pushed a hand through his tousled hair. It was naturally curly, verging on unruly, and brushing the nape of his neck. ‘Look, I’m sorry if I sounded grouchy back there for a while. Don’t get me wrong, I love my job and I’m happy to help other people celebrate … It’s only that I don’t feel like joining in all the jollity at the moment.’
‘Christmas can be a tough time,’ Lottie said, guessing he found it very awkward to reveal any hint of his personal problems. ‘I didn’t feel much like partying myself, last year.’
His beautiful eyes darkened. ‘Why was that?’ he asked softly.
‘Oh …’ She already regretted mentioning a time that she’d hoped to put behind her. Not forget: that was impossible. It was still too raw.
She didn’t know Jay and he was probably the last person who’d enjoy listening to her troubles.
So why did she suddenly feel like pouring out everything to him?
Chapter Four
With a mountain of things on her to-do list, Lottie really should have been getting back to the office, but Jay’s tone was so gentle and encouraging, she felt she had to tell him what had happened the previous Christmas – or at least part of it.
She took a mental breath. ‘Last Christmas, my sister was seriously ill,’ she said. ‘She’d just been diagnosed with cervical cancer and was waiting for treatment. She’s also a single mum to my twin nieces.’
‘That must have been very hard to deal with.’ He paused by an old fallen tree, which people had been using as a makeshift bench, judging by the worn surface.
‘It was but … I’m sure you don’t have time for this. I’ve kept you long enough as it is.’
‘I’m not too busy to listen, so why don’t you sit down here for a minute and tell me about it?’
He sat down himself, giving Lottie no excuse. She joined him, although his unexpected empathy had the power almost to bring her to tears, the last thing she wanted when he was a virtual stranger. ‘Last Christmas was … very hard. Neither of us felt like celebrating but we had little Myra and Jodie to think about so we did our best. Our parents live and work in New Zealand and they couldn’t get any flights until the New Year so they couldn’t be there and even when they did come over to help, they had to go back to their jobs eventually.’
He frowned in sympathy. ‘My God, that is tough. I’m so sorry you went through this.’
‘Thanks. It was hard but we had no choice but to try and get through it. Before Steph started her treatment, we went for the whole Christmas to the max thing. You could barely move for decorations and presents.’ Lottie had crunched her credit card to spoil her sister and the twins, and her parents, relatives and friends had also gone a bit mad. Still, she had no regrets.
‘You must have been out of your mind with worry,’ he said softly.
‘It was hard but a hundred times harder for Steph than me.’
‘How’s she doing now?’
‘She’s OK. She has to have regular checks and the treatment had lots of after-effects but we try to stay positive. Touch wood,’ Lottie said, flattening her palm on the log’s surface. ‘One thing’s for sure, this Christmas has got to be better than last.’
He let the silence hang for a second, as if he didn’t know how to reply. Perhaps he felt uncomfortable at Lottie’s unexpected display of emotion. Many people couldn’t deal with illness and if they’d never had a close family member affected, it was impossible to imagine how they might feel. Or perhaps he didn’t even want to imagine.
There was no time for any more conversation because Lottie’s phone buzzed with a text from Shayla, asking her to return urgently to the house to meet some potential clients.
‘I really have to go. Thanks for the tree. For everything,’ she said.
‘No problem.’
Lottie nodded and scooted off to the Bothy to