the things you need to do.”
“Any other day, I would say yes.”
Dropping her chin, she swept her thumb over my skin, right over my heart. It started beating faster. My heart was hers to command, as was my cock. Fully extended, it gave an eager bounce from its confined position between us.
“I want you to say yes now,” I said as petulantly as a teenager.
“I wish I could.”
When she circled my nipple, I captured her hand, stopping her as precum spurted from my slit. That was all it took. Just a little sensual caress from her drove me crazy.
“We’re an us, babe.” Wedging a finger under her chin, I lifted it.
I knew I shouldn’t have agreed to this. It was an ill-fated endeavor. The truth would come out, sooner rather than later, no matter what I did. Even now at the beginning, I could feel the clock winding down.
“We need to start this right,” I said. “Integrate our separate lives.”
“I need to talk to Cork.” Lotus’s brow creased thoughtfully. “Then I have to take care of the plants at Ash’s apartment. There’s also a launch thing at Outside. Maybe later, we—”
“Talk to Cork now,” I said quickly. “I’ll help you at Ash’s. That should free up some time so we can do breakfast, the three of us together.”
Her eyes brightened. To press my advantage, I lowered my head, aiming my mouth for her lips, but my cell rang.
“You should get that,” she said, yet she had her fingers tangled in my hair.
“Ignore it.”
I cupped her nape, lowered my head, and pressed my lips to hers. They were what they always were, petal-soft bliss. She parted them at my urging, and I groaned when the tip of her wet tongue touched mine. Turning her, I moved her back to the bed.
When my fucking phone started ringing again, Lotus moved her hands between us. Pressing then against my chest, she broke the kiss.
“You’d better get that,” she said huskily, her tongue swiping across her rosy lips.
“I don’t want to,” I growled.
The phone stopped ringing, only to start all over again.
Fucking hell.
“Fine! I’ll get the damn thing!”
As soon as I released Lotus, she backed away. It pissed me off, but I suppressed the anger and disappointment. I might not know shit about having a relationship with a woman, but I knew Lotus.
When we were kids and I got pissed, the few times I’d directed my temper at her, she hadn’t tolerated it. She stopped me cold. With others, I’d seen her react differently, attempting to deflect or smooth ruffled feathers, but not with me. She knew she didn’t have to bow to my will to please me. I was already pleased with her in every way. As best friends, we had a foundation built on mutual respect and love. I wanted that back, and I wanted the intimacy.
Turning from her, I snagged my phone from the nightstand and breathed in and out, getting my shit together before I turned back around. My lips parted, an apology on the tip of my tongue, but she was already gone.
“Fucking shit!”
“What the hell, dude?” Saber said in my ear.
“Not you.” I ran a hand through my hair, staring at the empty spot in my doorway where Lotus had been just a moment before.
“Who?” he asked.
Oh hell.
Raking a hand through my hair, I yanked a fistful. I wanted everyone to know Lotus was mine now, but I wasn’t a complete asshole. I didn’t want to rub my brother’s nose in the fact that he’d lost her.
“What do you need?” I said, deflecting, my voice gruff from the strain. I was accustomed to being alone. I moved from place to place, not forming attachments. Balancing the feelings and concerns of others wasn’t easy for me.
Saber was silent. “Lotus. You’re with Lotus. You’re an asshole.”
He was a smart guy. I should have known he would put things together.
“Yeah, man. I am.” I exhaled. “But I was trying to keep her out of things between us.”
“She’s in it. You’re in the group. Her brother is in the group.”
“So I guess you have a choice,” I said.
“Doesn’t feel like I have any choices.”
“It’s your group. Kick me out because of her, or be a fucking leader and let’s move past it. Do what we’re supposed to be doing, making some great music together.”
“Easy for you to say,” he grumbled. “You have her.”
“She holds all the cards, man. I don’t think anyone has her, unless she wants them to.”
“She doesn’t see it