in my band.” Saber’s voice was as cutting as a sword, and he wielded it like a weapon. “I can’t—I won’t—take responsibility for him if we’re not together.”
Lotus gasped as if Saber had plunged that sword into her heart. He couldn’t have chosen a worse thing to say.
“I can’t believe you brought my brother into this.” Color rose to pinken her cheeks. “You never took a genuine interest in him or my concerns about him until he suddenly became part of your band. I can’t believe I didn’t see sooner how selfish you’ve been in our relationship. That ends now. Tonight. No more, Saber. We’re done.”
Shocked, I stared at them with wide eyes as my brother recoiled.
“You can’t break up with me,” Saber said softly.
Her lips in a tight line, she glared at him. “I can, and I am.”
Lotus abandoned her post at the bar, rushing past me and the crowd of people who had been watching them. Her eyes filled with tears, she didn’t see me. I turned to go after her but stopped when someone grabbed my arm.
Spinning around, I wasn’t surprised to discover it was my brother.
“This is all your fault,” Saber growled.
“No, this is because of you and your actions. Fucking grow up and grow a pair. You screwed up with her. You didn’t treat her right, and you lost her. Total shit move bringing Cork into it.” I shrugged my arm free from his grip.
Saber’s eyes narrowed on mine. “What do you know about it? You don’t even know her or me.”
Staring into his eyes was almost like looking at my own in the mirror. The anger in them was familiar, and it wasn’t only anger at me. Some of it was self-directed, and that wasn’t unfamiliar either. Saber had been my father’s favorite son. I’d always assumed he’d had an idyllic childhood, but now I wondered if he’d had similar issues to mine growing up in the same household.
“Anyone can see how Lotus is.” I gave it to him straight and more gently than I otherwise might have, given how he’d treated her. “You have good qualities too. Your loyalty to Shield. Your talent. You have a temper, but you own up to it. You’re almost a cool guy when you’re not consumed by jealousy. But a woman like Lotus deserves better than the shit you’ve been giving her.”
Saber opened his mouth, then shut it. I could see the regret clearly in his eyes. He knew I was right, and maybe some of what I said got through.
He was older than me, but when it came to Lotus, I was wiser. I figured I was the same with my own shit. The hardest truth to see properly was the truth you knew about yourself but didn’t want to acknowledge, let alone change.
Giving that some consideration, I reached for him to try to offer some comfort. After all, he’d just lost Lotus. But he backed away from me.
“Fuck you, Journey.” His eyes shining, he lifted his chin and stomped off, having had the last word.
Fucking Saber. I shook my head.
But deep down, I knew I was fucked worse than he was.
And I’d done it to myself, just like he had.
Lotus
ALONE, I STOOD outside on the Deck Bar’s second-story deck. Taking an unauthorized break, I was trying to figure out where I went wrong with Saber.
There was no fixing us, because there’d been no us from the beginning. It was my own fault that Saber thought he could walk all over me, and that I’d let it go on for as long as I did. Outraged that he’d attempted to manipulate me using my brother, I realized that I should have broken up with him a long time ago.
I lifted my face into the wind. Salty from the ocean, it cooled my skin. Staring out at the dark waves, I lost myself in its inky expanse.
“Are you okay?” Journey asked, his rich melodic baritone rumbling over me.
“Not really. Not yet, anyway,” I said without turning around. “But I’ll get there, eventually.”
I concentrated harder on the ocean, on the rhythmic pattern of the waves. But it was pointless to attempt to focus on anything other than Journey when he was near.
“You sound upset. Is it because of Saber or Cork?”
Noting the sharpness to his question, I glanced at Journey over my shoulder. His gorgeous gaze met mine.
“Both,” I said truthfully. “But mostly the situation with Cork. Saber and I are through.”
We were through from the moment Journey