a blade through my heart as I imagined her in bed with him. Yet even as I bled out from that fatal wound, I noted the animosity glimmering within my brother’s gaze.
Instantly, I knew that Lotus had told him about her and me. Her attempt to smooth things over with him had been to tell him I was the guy who had fucked her.
Wrong play. A play that didn’t just trump mine, it annihilated it.
Silently, I watched her slip out of the booth with Saber and Cork as my gut churned. Saber might have loosened the tight hold he had on her if he thought my interest lay elsewhere, giving me an opportunity to reel her back into my bed.
But not now. Not knowing I’d been there with her.
Lotus
ON THE WALK to my apartment, Saber had my fingers clasped so tightly, he was practically cutting off my circulation. Cork was quiet on the other side of me, maintaining the same frown since we left the Deck Bar.
I was mad and frustrated. Trying to do the right thing wasn’t easy. I’d wanted some time to get my thoughts straight, but Saber wasn’t giving me time. He’d put me on the spot in front of Journey and everyone else.
Being put in that situation, I knew one thing for sure. I couldn’t have sex with Saber.
“Cork,” I said, stopping on the sidewalk in front of the cute bungalow that I remembered used to be Storm’s favorite house. My dad had certainly done an amazing job on the landscaping. It was gorgeous, tropical and inviting. He might be gone, but parts of him remained, beautiful and lasting tributes to his memory.
“Yeah?” My brother glanced up from his phone, pausing his video game. How he could walk in the dark and play without stumbling, I didn’t know.
“Can you go up ahead just to that corner and wait for me?” I pointed with my chin. “I need to talk to Saber privately.”
“Sure.” Nodding once, Cork loped away.
“Saber.” I turned to face him, placing my hands on his solid forearms, and he put his low on my back.
He didn’t hold me tight. I couldn’t feel the heat of his palms through my overalls, but I still felt trapped.
Pulling in a breath, I focused on the familiar. The glow from a nearby streetlight revealed his handsome face, his warm brown eyes, and his thoughtful expression. But it irritated me that he made me feel like his possession, not an equal partner in a loving relationship.
“Listen . . .” I drew in a shuddering breath. “I know what you want from me tonight. And I think I know why, so I’m trying not to hold it against you. But I’m not ready to be intimate with you.”
“Because of him?” Saber asked, his brows dipped. “Journey?”
“Sure, that’s part of it,” I said, answering his question honestly.
How could we have any realistic chance of us working long term if there was dishonesty between us?
I remembered the arguments between my mom and dad. She’d been unhappy here, missing her family in Thailand, but she’d kept her true feelings hidden from my dad too long. She’d let them fester, and it had pushed them apart. When she finally admitted how she felt, the gap created by her animosity and resentment had been too wide for my dad to breach. Then she’d left him, abandoning all of us.
Maybe I didn’t have the whole story. After all, I’d been a child. I might be mistaken, but that’s the way I remembered it, and that was why I tried to be as honest as I could with my own feelings.
“You’re freezing me out because you want him.” Saber’s tone was sharp, not lead-singer smooth.
I scoffed. “He doesn’t want me. He’s moved on. You saw him with Tess.”
God, he might even be having sex with her right now.
Work hard. Play hard.
Yeah, Journey. I got the message then, and the reminder tonight.
It was playtime with Tess. After her, he’d go to the next. And since he was in the band and lived downstairs from me, I’d have a front-row seat to see them all.
“I can’t give you what you want tonight, Saber.” Thinking about Journey with Tess made my chest hurt, but I powered through the pain. “Not like this. Not when you’re jealous and just trying to prove something.”
“I am trying to prove something. That I love you. That you don’t want to let me concerns me. Plus, the fact that you keep trying to break up