I was going to kick their collective arses.
“Alice.” A warm hand covered the spot where Sleepy had brained me, but it still throbbed with pain. I managed to blink a few times until Malcolm’s fuzzy but handsome face came into partial focus.
I smiled stupidly. “Hi.”
He dipped his chin and I swore I could feel him shake. “Are you laughing at me?”
“I swear I’m doing my best not to, but you’re making it very hard.”
My face scrunched up into a proper scowl, but I couldn’t hold it because it made my head pound even harder. What had I done to myself? Oh, that’s right, I’d drunk an obscene quantity of Chardonnay and tequila on an empty stomach.
“Where’s Ruby?” I glanced around, not really expecting to find her in my bed with Malcolm and me, but who knew at this point?
“If I had to take a guess, I’d say she’s probably shagging my brother.”
That sounded very plausible.
I rubbed at my eyes, finding them to be the only part of my head that didn’t hurt. “What are you doing in my flat?”
The sheets rustled next to me. “You mean you don’t remember?”
I noticed then that Malcolm wasn’t wearing a shirt, which was most unfortunate because a bare-chested Malcolm made it incredibly difficult to think. “I remember I’m angry with you.” I blinked at him again and he frowned at me.
“That’s the bit you choose to remember?”
“Why, what have I missed?” I lifted the sheet to check if I was naked, but I seemed to be wearing my blouse and knickers, thankfully.
Malcolm scratched his chin where a swath of dark stubble had grown overnight. “I’m not sure there’s time to recount it all, but rest assured, you were spectacular.”
Another jolt of pain speared through me, this time directly in my right eye. “Please tell me we didn’t have sex. I’m angry with you, and if you took advantage of my drunken state, I’ll have to do something you really won’t like.”
“What’s that?” He sounded more amused than scared.
“I can’t say or I’ll be arrested.”
“Ah, I understand. Well, lucky for me, we didn’t have sex.” He shook his head. “There’s a phrase I never imagined myself saying.” His eyebrows waggled. “I will say you were very hard to resist.”
Oh, God. I rolled in the opposite direction and managed to get my feet on the ground, but when I stood, all the blood rushed from my head and I had to sit again.
Malcolm quickly came around the bed and forced me to lay back down. “Not so fast. I can’t have you falling on your face again.”
“Again?” I patted my face carefully, searching for a lump. “I need my glasses.”
They appeared in my hand a second later and I pushed them onto my face. There were grease marks all over the lenses.
“Why are these so filthy?” I removed them and used the sheet to wipe off some of the grime before settling them back on my face. What had become of me? I’d slept with Malcolm and subsequently morphed into a slobbering drunk with filthy hygiene and a preoccupation with violent cartoon dwarves.
“Oh, I can explain that.” He tucked the sheet around me again as if preparing me for a sarcophagus. “You insisted you needed real American bacon with your coffee last night.”
Of course I had. “Did I say why?” This didn’t sound like me at all.
“Something to do with pigs deserving to die because of Cuba? I didn’t really understand, but you were quite insistent.”
I sounded like a raving lunatic. I was never drinking again.
Malcolm straightened once more, giving me a fully in-focus view of his strong chest and the ridges of muscles over his stomach. I swallowed hard as my mind took me back to yesterday when I’d run my tongue over that very territory. God save me.
“So, now that we’re up to speed, I’ll make you some tea and toast and we can have a chat.” He nodded as if he had everything all figured out. Then he donned a t-shirt and left the room while I worked my arms out of the sheet straitjacket and covered my face. I considered escaping out my window, but I was on the second floor, so I had to ditch that plan straight away.
Instead, I searched my bedside table, and upon locating my phone, I decided to text Tilly. Clearly, I still wasn’t in my right mind.
Me: I shagged Malcolm, but I think he might have only done it to keep me working for him.
Within a