and I willed myself not to faint.
“Oh God. Was that why you kissed me? Slept with me?!” I stood, yanking the sheet from the bed and wrapping it around me, leaving Malcolm naked on the rumpled sheets. I wanted to vomit.
“No!” He got to his knees and moved toward me but I backed up. “You really think I’d do that?”
“Manipulate me to make me stay?” I nodded vigorously. “I absolutely think you’d do that.” Before he could reach me, I snatched up my clothes and ran to the bathroom suite, slamming the door behind me.
“Alice, wait!” He pounded on the door.
“No! Please leave me alone!” I pulled on my trousers and blouse as quickly as possible, not even bothering with the underwear.
Another fist to the door. “Alice, you’ve got it all wrong!”
But I knew once and for all, I had it all right. I should have kept focus on the first time I’d reconciled myself with reality—when I’d resigned. There was no one to blame but myself.
I finished straightening my appearance enough to appear in public and swiftly opened the door before running from his quarters as Malcolm pleaded for me to hear him out. But I was done letting him break my heart.
“There you are!” Ruby’s head of wavy hair appeared around the opening of my office door.
I pushed back from my desk as she entered, doing my best to pretend nothing was wrong. “You’re back. How is Carl?”
Her hands hit her hips. “Refusing to follow his new diet and complaining that walking for exercise is boring. Sadie got a week off work to stay with him so she doesn’t have to keep driving back and forth from Charlotte to crack the whip.”
“That’s a relief, I’m sure.” I managed a smile.
She nodded. “So what’s going on with you? I can’t believe Malcolm convinced you to come back.”
Just the mention of his name had my nausea returning, but I swallowed it down. As if the whole sex-bribery scenario hadn’t been enough, I found Victoria in my office when I fled there immediately after. I’d stupidly left a few notepads on my desk—something I never did—and I realized to my horror that one of them held notes for addressing Malcolm’s speech issue. But Victoria appeared entirely uninterested, and the notebooks didn’t look as if they’d been disturbed. Still, I asked if she’d been looking for anything, but her responding expression told me she couldn’t find me or anything in my office less interesting. Then she proceeded to tell me about how much she adored the Bernards and extolled all their wonderful qualities as I tried not to cry. At least one crisis had been averted today.
“It’s only temporary,” I told Ruby. “In fact, I’m considering returning to America a week early.”
“Oh? Did you finish whatever he needed you for?” When I didn’t immediately respond, her voice turned sympathetic. “Or is he… opening old wounds?”
“A little bit of both, I’d say.” My eyes welled with tears and I cursed them as I swiped them away.
“Hey.” Ruby came forward and crouched in front of me, putting both hands on my knees. “Don’t cry. He’s not worth it.”
“My heart is unconvinced.” I sniffled.
“I’ve been told that, legally, I’m not allowed to threaten the life of a royal while on Feldish soil, so consider this an offer to cut off his balls instead.”
I let out a half-snort/half-sob. “Not that I don’t appreciate it, but it’s my own fault. I knew what I was risking with my return.”
She rubbed my knee and shook her head. “Damn, I know I just said he wasn’t worth it, but I really hoped he’d clue in this time around.”
“I thought he had.” I shrugged.
“Oh?” Her eyes widened.
“I’m not really comfortable discussing this here. There are too many ears—one set in particular.” I glanced around as if expecting to see Victoria’s head poking out from the heating vent.
“Oooh. I can’t wait to hear this. Come on, let’s pop into town and get something to eat.”
I did have some extra time now that Victoria’s training wasn’t an issue. And if Malcolm needed something, he could bloody well get it on his own.
“Let’s go.”
Twenty minutes later, we sat at a small iron table on an outdoor patio at an Italian bistro with the late afternoon sun warming us and a pleasant autumn breeze making our menus flutter in our hands.
“I’ll have the fettuccini alfredo with a Peroni.” Ruby smiled at the waiter.
Not sure I could stomach anything solid at the moment, I went