she was glad. Then one of them would change the subject.
Almost a year ago, on her eighteenth birthday, he had arrived with a bottle of champagne and two long-stemmed glasses. By the time the bottle was empty, both their tongues were loosened. Most of his Connor stories were disappointingly familiar to Maya, so she was delighted when he began to talk about her parents in a way she had never heard before.
‘They were both so passionate,’ he had said, as the waves broke gently in the distance and the sky darkened. ‘I think your mother still is. It’s her greatest strength, and her greatest weakness.’
‘That doesn’t make sense,’ Maya laughed.
‘It makes absolute sense,’ he told her solemnly. ‘The thing that makes you is the thing that breaks you.’
Maya thought about that for a moment. ‘What is your thing, then?’
‘Empathy,’ he said straight away, disconsolately, she thought. ‘And what about you, Maya? What do you think yours is?’
‘I don’t know.’ They were quiet for a while as she considered it. ‘Sometimes I wish I didn’t care so much,’ she said eventually.
He studied her as she sat there thinking of Luke, and she thought maybe he was going to ask her to explain, but he didn’t. Instead, he said, ‘Help your mother, Maya, when she comes home. She made a big mistake, but she doesn’t deserve any more punishment from the people who love her.’
Maya had seized on this rare chance to talk. ‘But why did she do it? Rebecca was her closest friend. Why would she want to hurt the Carlisles?’ Then she had let out a great sigh – it was such a relief to ask these questions. The subject wasn’t forbidden, as such, but there seemed an unspoken agreement between everyone around her that it wasn’t to be mentioned. And sometimes all Maya wanted was to talk about it.
But, disappointingly, Pete had shaken his head. ‘You’ll have to ask her, Maya. I’m sorry. She won’t discuss it with me. But there will be a reason. The Desi I know wouldn’t want to hurt anyone.’
Maya comes back to the present, gets to her feet and dusts off her clothes. She has begrudged her mother all her secrets, but now she has a secret of her own. Will she tell Desi what she gets up to with Luke? Probably not. Will she tell Pete? No. Even though they, more than most, might understand.
She wanders back to her caravan, pondering what might make her mother reluctant to share. Once inside, she changes her clothes.
She remembers the necklace. Had her mother noticed she wasn’t wearing it? She tries a few drawers, scrabbling about in them to see if she can find it. She locates it at the far corner of a small cupboard and takes it out. It is a small white pearl, a perfect globe set within the curve of a silver dolphin, as though the dolphin is jumping over the moon. She hesitates for a moment before slipping it on.
She stares at the contents of her bed. She’d better return the book tonight. She hadn’t meant to be a thief. Putting it to one side, she picks up the large carving knife that she took from her grandfather’s kitchen. She collects the blankets and wraps both items inside them. After that, she sits on her bed and tries to decide how she is going to pass the next few interminable hours.
7
Pete
The zoo is the last place Pete had planned on going today, and yet here he is, parking in the visitors’ car park and walking towards the gate. Since his conversation with Desi, he hasn’t stopped thinking about Indah. He could get in touch with any number of friends to ask about her, but today he needs to see how she is for himself.
He is thankful the person in the ticket booth doesn’t recognise him as he hands over his money. It’s early yet, and a weekday, so the place is fairly quiet – only a few holidaymakers and weary mothers with preschool children. It is an odd feeling, walking the familiar routes without uniform or purpose. As he hurries past the ornamental lake, he sees a flash of grey on the small island in the middle. It is followed by a series of whooping calls: the Javan gibbons are singing, each note a long, looping crescendo across the water. They are answered by a hush of people, as those nearby stop, entranced, eyes searching the trees for a glimpse of