so I’m just going with the flow and I’ll be happy to keep him company,’ I tell my boss, who over the years has become a very close confidante and a real tower of strength to me. ‘I just want to do as Mabel tells us and see where it leads to.’
I say my goodbyes to Ben, warning him to remember his manners and most importantly to have fun and stay safe, then with a final hug for Camille, I leave Truly Vintage and set off home where Aidan is ready and waiting for our day away.
I don’t know if I’m more nervous or excited, but when I see Aidan pack up the car in the distance, my jitters calm down and I want to get on the road as soon as possible.
Now, as Aidan holds the car door open for me and I climb inside its cool, cream leather interior, I remind myself that I’m simply going on a day trip to a place that means a lot to a very dear friend, even if it’s in a way he hasn’t discovered yet. He sits in the driver’s seat beside me, starts up the engine and I put my head back on the head rest and look over at him.
‘You OK?’ he asks me, patting my hand gently.
Everything in Aidan’s world always begins with asking me if I’m OK, and I’m slowly getting used to it.
‘I’m really good,’ I tell him. ‘I’m beginning to relax at last. I’m looking forward to today.’
‘So am I,’ he replies. ‘It will be nice to have a change of scenery. As much as I’ve enjoyed my downtime and walking on the beach, some nice food and a stroll around a different place sounds nice.’
We cruise along the road out of Ballybray, heading east and hugging or at least skimming the northern Irish coastline on any given opportunity, and the route, which will take just over two and a half hours in total, will take us through many picturesque towns and villages that I’ve never heard of.
Aidan’s music playlist is made up of a variety of artists, from classics by Prince and Fleetwood Mac to some ‘Irish Trad’ to set the mood of our road trip, and some rock legends like AC/DC to keep us on our toes. It’s a spectacular spring day outside and we pass lush green fields with sheep and lambs, towns bustling with shoppers, along country roads and dual carriageways on our journey to visit the place where his father and uncle spent their young years together in happiness.
Driving along like this on a sunny day brings me back to childhood trips to the beach with my own grandparents when I was very, very young and I’m shocked as the memory comes flooding back to me. I taste cold, juicy strawberries and cream, I feel the light breeze on my face and the sun on my skin and I hear my grandfather’s country music on the radio as I sat in the back seat, my bare legs swinging along in time to the beat.
I’m brought back to happy memories I’d long buried, and having them come to life like this sparks a sense of contentment that has for too long been masked by all the pain of my past. Being with Aidan has had this effect on me, I realize. It’s like years of darkness that have taken over my mind have been pierced with little speckles of lighter moments that are now being brought back to life.
‘So what are you expecting from this trip?’ I ask him, checking my lipstick in the mirror on the sunshade of his car as we cruise along. ‘Is there anything you specifically hope to gain, or are you just letting Mabel guide the way like I am?’
He changes gear as he comes to a junction and I can’t help but notice his arms as he does so, a sight which makes me lose my breath a little.
I’ve become so used to being so close to him in many ways, but sitting here up high in his Mercedes 4x4 feels a bit more intimate than usual.
‘I dunno, I guess I’m excited about seeing the place my dad and uncle spent their summers in before I came along,’ Aidan tells me, reminding me of the roots of our trip. ‘My uncle Peter was a role model to me ever since I lost my parents and even though I know he and my dad didn’t see