which was always a cue for my young ears to tune in, but they were saying how they believed my mum and dad loved each other so much that sometimes I got in the way, so it was maybe a good thing they never had any more children to fight for their attention.’
My mouth drops open and I look his way, but he just keeps staring ahead as the pain of this memory replays in his mind like a broken record.
‘Ah, Aidan, I’d doubt if that was true,’ I try to reassure him, touching his arm briefly to show some support. ‘Your grandparents were probably trying to deal with their own grief and were thinking out loud for the sake of it. Grief can make us act in many strange ways and say many strange things, believe me.’
He turns his head around to face me at last – his strong, handsome face that has become so familiar to me by now. I know every crease when he smiles, I know the way his eyes light up when he is winding me up, I know how his voice cracks when he wants to scream but chooses to grit his teeth instead, and I know how his brow furrows when he needs space or some time alone. And most of all I know when he laughs during our lengthy conversations on random topics that often lead to arguments or disagreements that he’s someone I could never fall out with, no matter how hard things got.
‘Do you really think so?’ he asks me, and I realize that whatever I tell him now is enough to change a mindset that has lived within him for ever.
‘I know so,’ I say, nodding with no doubt in my mind. ‘Your parents sound like wonderful people and it would take two wonderful people to make someone like you, Aidan Murphy.’
He throws the stick away and our eyes both follow it as it lodges into the sand below.
‘Ah, you’ve a way with words, Roisin O’Connor, and you always know when to say the right things,’ he says, unable to mask his smile now at my attempt at a compliment. ‘But you’ve been a good friend to me lately, despite our rocky start, and I’ll never forget it.’
I smile too now in return, and we sit here on the sand dune, shoulder to shoulder, feeling a little bit lighter in our hearts and minds.
We are good friends now, and I don’t think we’ve acknowledged that officially until this moment, but we are really growing very close, and the more time we spend together, the more evident it’s becoming, and the more evident it’s becoming, the guiltier I feel inside at how his wife is so oblivious to the connection and bond we share here in Ireland.
‘So, will you come with me to Breena and see what sort of journey Mabel wants to send us on this time?’
‘Of course I will,’ I tell him, as if it was ever going to be a question. ‘I’ll come with you, and I’m sure Ben will love to as well. We’ll make a day of it and go there in Mabel’s memory.’
20.
‘Are you sure you don’t mind?’ I ask Camille on Saturday morning when I drop Ben off with her at the shop. ‘I’d really love him to come with us but he’s determined to ditch me for a better offer with Gino.’
It’s only gone 10 a.m. but Ben has already locked heads with Camille’s son Gino and they’re swapping football cards in a state of excitement, their bags packed alongside them as they await her husband Paddy’s arrival to take them on a very last-minute camping trip and horse riding expedition in County Sligo. Well, it’s last-minute for Ben, but not so for Gino who has been looking forward to this for ages.
Camille reaches out and fixes the button on my dress. I’ve chosen a royal blue maxi dress, my favourite gold wedges, and I too have a bag packed for my day away to Breena with Aidan.
‘If you ask me that again I’m going to be very cross with you, lady,’ warns Camille. ‘Look at those two. Do you think Ben is going to cause me any extra trouble? They’re like two peas in a pod and I think Paddy might be even more excited to have another member of the team. Plus, the weather is perfect for camping today! How are you feeling?’
‘Really good, thanks. Today is all about Aidan