not. You all assumed I was.”
“And the vow?”
“Ah, yes. But under my breath I did sort of change the vow to be ‘from now on I’ll stay a virgin’. And that would have been it, except Ryan turned up and made everything so complicated. And he made me go out with him on the day of the summer picnic. See, that’s another lie I told. I wasn’t ill then. I was with Ryan.”
“Is he blackmailing you? Because if he is my parents have a good lawyer who—”
“No. no,” I interrupt. “Nothing like that. Ryan is the coolest guy out. He’s helped me see how things really are. Ryan wouldn’t blackmail anyone. No way. You must meet him properly, you’ll love him.”
Lori’s eyes widen. “Ah ha. Now I get it,” she says.
“What?”
“No wonder you don’t want to go out with Guy. You’ve got the hots for Ryan.”
“No it’s not like that. Definitely not.”
“Mmmm. If you say so.” She’s silent for a while, and looks thoughtful. “Tell me what was it like,” she finally says. “Doing it, I mean. Did it—did it hurt?”
“It was awesome. Really special. Yes, the first time it did hurt. I knew it would. But Ryan was so gentle and sweet. No way would I have done it if I didn’t have strong feelings for him.” My insides go all gooey at the thought. I shake my head. I can’t think about what happened in the past. It’s pointless.
“What about getting pregnant. Weren’t you worried about that?” Lori’s has this huge anxious look on her face.
“He used a condom. Just because we were only sixteen doesn’t mean we’re stupid.”
“Yes, I know. Sorry.” She looks away for a moment, then suddenly turns back. “You can’t stay in the club now, you know.”
This is going to seem totally weird, but hearing Lori say that makes me feel really sad. I know I’ve mocked the Club and the Handbook but without it Lori and I wouldn’t have become such good friends. And creepy Jamie isn’t really so bad. He has his heart in the right place, even if he is a bit blinkered when it comes to the real world.
“I know. I sort of wish I didn’t. Maybe I can be an Associate Member. You know, like they have in some organizations for people who don’t quite make the qualification criteria.”
“You can run it past Jamie and see what he says.” Lori shrugs. “I’m not sure how he’ll react, though.”
Yeah, I suppose it is a bit of wishful thinking on my part.
“Everyone’s going to hate me now.” I say, my voice becoming more serious. “For lying. Aren’t they?”
“It depends on what they know. If we don’t tell anyone.” I stare at Lori, my mouth open so wide a bus could get through with room to spare.
“You mean you won’t say anything?”
“Suzy, I really like you. You’re my friend. And I don’t want this to come between us.”
“But I ruined the night. You said so.”
“Well, that’s a slight exaggeration. I was really upset with you, at the time. But being with George sort of helped.” She blushes furiously.
“Oh yes. You and George. See, I told you inviting him to the party was the way to go. What happened? Did you, you know? Sorry. Of course you wouldn’t.”
“No, we didn’t do anything. But we did talk a lot. About us and the club and stuff. He’s asked me to go out with him.”
“Did you say yes? Tell me you did. He’s such a cool guy. I really like him.”
“Yes. I said yes.” She smiles. For the first time since we met today she seems relaxed.
“I’m so pleased. And I’m soooo sorry for everything.”
“I understand. I just wished you’d trusted me enough to tell me.”
I’m almost tempted to tell her the rest—about the arrest and stuff. But maybe not. One step at a time.
“I didn’t want to tell anyone. I thought it would be better that way. And we’re still friends?”
“You bet,” she says resting her hand on my arm. “Since you’ve been at school things have much more fun.”
“But I’ve been behaving myself. I thought I was the being the most serious best behaved person out.”
“Really? And the time you told Miss Davis the Principal was looking for her so Jana could finish her homework and hand it in?”
“That’s nothing. You should have seen what I used to do. Actually no you shouldn’t. But the thing is Lori; it’s not just my behavior I changed. It’s my clothes, the music I listen to,