I’ll go back home and risk Ryan dropping me in it.
***
“Geez Suzy. What is it with you? I can’t believe it. I just can’t believe it.” I knew Maddie would be angry. Hardly surprising. I could throttle myself too.
“I couldn’t do it. My brain froze. Couldn’t remember anything we’d planned, so I came home.” I kick off my shoes and lay down on my bed. “I feel so bad.”
“How far away is it? If you went straight back he might be still waiting for you.”
“It’s nearly five. He’s hardly going to wait for an hour is he?”
“I suppose not.” She pauses. “I wish I was with you. At least then you’d have gone. The only thing you can do is go to Starbucks next time he’s working and arrange to meet him again.”
“What’s the point? I’ll leave it. Let him do his worst.” I bite on my bottom lip.
“And totally screw up your life. That’s not such a good idea. Don’t worry,” her voice drops and is much softer. “It’ll work out. You’ve got out of far bigger scrapes than this in the past.”
“I have?” That’s news to me.
“Okay. Maybe not this big, but something will happen and you’ll be fine. I have a good feeling about this.” Oh great. Now suddenly she’s admitting to having feelings when in the past she’s totally denied being able to see things.
“Whatever. Well one thing’s for sure I’m never going to be able to do my homework tonight. Couldn’t concentrate on anything even with a gun to my head.”
“Will you stop it. It’s not natural to hear you worrying about homework. It’s too weird.” I can’t help but grin. She’s so right. It is weird.
“Suzy,” I hear Mom calling.
“Hang on Maddie. Yes Mom?”
“Someone to see you,” she says poking her head around the door.
“Is it Lori? Send her up.”
“No it’s a boy.” Oh no, not Guy I am so not up to pretending everything is okay. “Ryan.”
My stomach hits the floor and shoots back up again. I hold onto the edge of the bed for support.
“I won’t be a minute,” I somehow manage to say as Mom turns away, closing the door behind her. “Maddie, did you hear—”
“Yes. Shit, Suzy. No escaping him now.” She gives a hollow laugh but I can’t respond because my breathing is becoming decidedly labored. I think I’m in the throes of a major panic attack. “Suzy, are you okay? You sound like you’re choking or something. Hold your breath, count to ten and then breathe.”
I do as she says and somehow my breathing sort of returns to normal.
“I’m fine now. I think,” I say still wheezing a bit. “Just got a bit weird for a moment.” I take another huge breath. “Okay. What the hell am I going to say?”
“If you can remember what we said last night great, if not then say the first thing that comes into your head. You’ll be good. I have every faith in you.” Glad someone has. “Go now before you totally freak. And phone me as soon as he’s gone. Good luck.”
I drop my phone onto the bed and force myself out of my bedroom and downstairs to the living room, where I assume Mom has taken him. The closer I get to the room the harder my heart pounds. And my tongue is stuck fast to the roof of my mouth it’s so dry up there.
Standing outside, I swallow, take a deep breath, and then push open the door. Ryan is sitting as relaxed as anything on the green leather sofa, with Mom opposite looking just as comfortable.
What I wouldn’t give to be on an island in the Caribbean at this precise moment.
“Hello,” I squeak, my voice sounding decidedly mouse-like.
Ryan jumps up from his seat, closely followed by Mom.
“I’ll leave you to it,” Mom says. “Good to meet you Ryan. Let me know if you want anything to eat or drink.” She smiles and leaves, closing the door behind her.
Thank goodness she didn’t hang around. Though she could be listening at the door.
“I waited for ages. Why didn’t you turn up?” Ryan’s accusing tone draws me from my thoughts.
“Um—well—you see the Principal called a meeting for the new Student Liaison Committee members and he went on for ages and I thought you’d have left. So I came home.” Phew. It’s amazing how much easier it is when you tell the truth.
“Really?” What? Doesn’t he believe me? “You on a student committee. I don’t think so.”
“I am. Truth. I’m not