penis.
Nope, nope, nope.
How did I just jump from thinking about possibly being friends or frenemies with Noah to his penis?
Maybe because it’s not the first time I wonder how sex would be like with him now? I mean, we were kids back then. Inexperienced. Each other’s firsts. There was fumbling. Lots and lots of fumbling. No orgasms. Quick orgasms. Great orgasms. We had it all.
“Uh, Chloe.”
I wince. Damn it, I was gone in la-la land again.
All because of Noah.
The same Noah I still haven’t gotten off.
Nope, not going there.
This man turns my brain into a squirrel.
“Sorry.” I finally crawl off him and straighten my clothes as we both get up. “It’s been a long day.”
And then, we just stand there. Staring at each other like it’s the most normal thing in the world. For once, he doesn’t frown at me. Okay, maybe a little, but at least not as much as before.
“Sooooo.” Noah rubs his hands on his sweats.
“Sooooo.” I rub my lips together and rock on my heels.
“Should we just—”
“Is this too—”
Our words mash together when we talk at the same time, and I point at him. “You first.”
This time, he rubs his hands together in front of his body. “First, I want to apologize. I shouldn’t have pushed you the way I did at your place. Like you said, it’s none of my business. I also shouldn’t have flaked on you and your work. I’m sorry.”
I shrug and try my hardest to keep my facial muscles relaxed. On the inside, my blood is heating up, my heart is pumping faster, and a light sheen of sweat is forming on the back of my neck.
His apology isn’t only unexpected, it also means a lot. I absentmindedly rub my wrist, unable to stop myself even when his gaze goes there. My flight of swallows tattoo that’s so important to me. Knowing it’s there always helps me. It settles me, calms me.
During our abrupt move to Los Angeles, I thought I’d lost my beloved bracelet that someone very special gave me as a gift. It was a delicate bracelet with two swallows that are supposed to symbolize love, loyalty, commitment, and also freedom.
That special person was Noah, of course, and I was devastated when it disappeared.
By sheer luck—or fate as I’d like to think—I found it in an old jewelry box a few years later when I was going through a really tough time. But at that point, I was yearning for more, for something more permanent that I’d never lose again, and that would add a special meaning to my scar.
Less than twenty-four hours later, I had my first tattoo. Every time I look at it, it gives me hope. It makes me feel strong and free, and grateful to be alive. Because things could have turned out differently in so many ways.
And now Noah’s apologizing to me, even though I hurt him deeply all those years ago and will never be able to forgive myself for it. But it was the right thing to do. I have to believe that.
So, I lift the corners of my mouth and shrug. “You’re here now.”
“I am.”
“Aaaaaaand are you planning on staying, or did you just drop by to tell me you won’t be coming anymore?”
One corner of his mouth lifts the tiniest bit before it drops again. “I’d like to stay and do what I promised I’d do. If that’s okay with you?”
You’ve got this. You can work with him. It’s just for a few weeks.
I swallow. “Of course it is.”
He rakes a hand through his hair. It’s so much shorter now than it used to be. It definitely suits him though. “Great.”
“Great.”
Just how awkward is this going to be?
He points toward the wall. “What do you want me to do?”
I rub my finger along my chin. “Ehm, you can start painting Nemo if you want. I was going to do him next but now you can get started on him.”
“Really?”
I snort. “Yes, really. What did you think you were going to do? Watch me do all the work?”
He thinks about that for a moment. “Not sure, actually. I obviously missed a lot this week, and Hunter didn’t mention what you guys did.”
“Ah, Hunter. He’s something else.” Something in my brain clicks. “Wait a second. That’s not the same Hunter you went to swim camp with all those years ago, is it?” His eyes go wide at my question, and I hold up my hand. “Sorry, I won’t ask any questions. Let’s