the desk allows. “I want you to take some time off and think about what you want. Your volunteer work starts this week, right?”
I nod.
“Good. Maybe doing something else will get you out of this funk, or at least, give you some clarity. Sometimes it’s good to push, necessary even. But there are also times when you’re at a crossroads without realizing it. At that point, pushing only forces you down a path that will lead to misery and disappointment. That’s not our goal, you hear me?”
“Yeah.”
His eyes turn toward the ceiling, and I give him a moment. Especially when he starts massaging his temples. I know when to shut up with this man. The same way he knows me, I know him too. And I have no desire at all to push his buttons today.
“Is there anything I should know about? Are you in any kind of trouble?”
A long sigh leaves his body when I shake my head.
What does he expect me to tell him? Because I honestly don’t have a clue myself. It sounds stupid, but one day I just woke up and felt incredibly tired. Bone-deep exhaustion. I didn’t feel “it” anymore, that inexplicable, invisible force that drives you to push yourself harder than you ever thought you could be pushed. To achieve the unimaginable and continue doing so.
He studies me, probably knowing I’m full of it. “That’s something I guess.”
Weirdly enough, my brain’s blank right now. I know he’s right about my times, and that something’s going on, but I’m not exactly sure what it is either. Or why.
Sure, I can blame Chloe for the extra distraction in the last few days, but not before then. What or who can I blame for that though? No one but myself probably.
He rubs his chin. “Go talk to someone if that helps.”
That gets my attention. “Like a therapist?”
“That’s why we have sports psychologists. They know what they’re doing.”
“Hmm.”
He wags his finger at me like he’s done so many times before. “Noah, you might be a grown-ass man, but you don’t need to give me attitude. Figure this shit out. Take some time off. Do the volunteer work at the hospital. Hang out with your friends. Do nothing. But do something that helps. This isn’t just about your swimming, this is about your life. Something has to change.”
My fingers tap on the armrest in a fast rhythm before I cross my arms in front of my chest to keep still. “Will do.”
“Good.” He brushes a hand over his face, the golden band on his finger reflecting the light. “You know where to find me if you need me. Now get out of here, or you’ll be late.”
With my bag in hand, I stand in the doorway less than a minute later. “Thanks, Coach.”
He only grunts and waves me away.
“Noah.”
I turn around and look for my sister. And there she is. In all of her nurse glory. Brown hair atop her head, dark scrub pants paired with a Dory scrub top, and a paper tray with two large cups from the coffee shop by the entrance.
When she reaches me, she’s a little out of breath. “What are you doing here?” I’m just about to reply when she groans, “Oh right, the painting starts today, doesn’t it?”
“Just a preliminary meeting of sorts to make sure we know what we’re doing, who we’ll be working with . . . that sort of thing. Some prep work. And then we’ll start over the weekend.”
After transferring the tray to one hand, she reaches out to grab my arm as we walk to the bank of elevators together. “I’m glad you’re doing this. It sounds like a lot of fun.”
“Hmm.” Grunting seems to be my specialty today.
“Is everything okay? You seem grumpier than usual.”
Yes, it seems I’m grumpy most of the time, but what can I say? I’m under constant pressure to perform virtually three hundred sixty-five days a year. Well, at least it feels that way sometimes.
But am I grumpier than usual? Hell knows.
I close my eyes for a moment, trying to decide how much to share with her. Do I tell her about the tongue-lashing I received from Coach?
Besides the guys, she’s the closest person I have in my life. I’m close with our parents too, but they’ve been on a mission to save the world—currently in Africa. That’s great for them and everyone they can help, but they also left Daisy in a bind when she had to figure out life after