Mum,’ she said, hoping her mother might soften once she heard more about Isla and saw the photos on her phone. Then again, she’d looked to her mum for sympathy many times in the past but she’d stood resolute, backing up Tash’s tyrannical father in every outlandish decision.
‘Your mother’s not here. She’s in Mildura doing outreach work for the church.’
Tash’s heart sank. She had no hope of getting through to her father but she’d come all this way, she had to try.
‘Listen, Dad, I need to tell you something—’
‘Not having another bastard child, are you?’ He glared at her stomach with ill-concealed distaste and Tash resisted the urge to turn tail and run.
‘Isla is wonderful, thanks for asking.’
His eyes narrowed at her sarcasm, malevolence radiating off him like a toxic cloud. ‘Leave. Now.’
‘I will, but I thought I’d give you the courtesy of hearing about Isla’s father from me rather than the media.’
When he remained silent, she said, ‘Kody Lansdowne is a famous rock star. He’s Isla’s father and he didn’t know about Isla’s existence until recently, and it stands to reason you might hear her name in the press associated with him once the news breaks. He’s making an effort to get to know her—’ unlike you ‘—and I thought I’d extend the same courtesy to you and Mum. Isla’s almost thirteen and a lot of years have passed since you shut me out, but she’s a wonderful girl and maybe you’d like to get to know her too—’
‘No.’ When he lifted his hand to point at the door behind her, it shook a little. ‘You’re dead to us, so we don’t have a granddaughter.’
A pain Tash had thought she’d conquered a long time ago blossomed in her chest, making breathing difficult. Ridiculous, to feel this crushed when she’d expected it, but the reality of her father’s heartlessness far exceeded the way this scenario had played out in her head.
‘I feel sorry for you.’ Tash turned away and headed out the door, only letting her tears fall when she reached the last step.
‘And I’ll pray for you.’
Tash froze for a moment before forcing her feet to walk at a sedate pace towards her car when she wanted to run from this place and never look back.
CHAPTER
25
With Isla due to pop in any moment, Kody set out after-school snacks. He’d been thrilled when Tash had asked him to mind Isla because she wouldn’t be home until late. Like he’d ever say no to that. He’d scarcely seen his kid over the last week, what with her busy extra-curricular activities schedule and massive homework load. He’d rattled around this place for seven long days.
Not that his time alone had been all bad. After his revealing chats with Tash and Yanni, he’d taken steps towards confronting his demons by utilising a website for mental health issues to chat via keyboard with a psychologist. He’d been wary at first, reluctant to reveal anything, but that was the beauty of remote contact: he could remain anonymous and divulge his innermost doubts without fear of being judged. Ironically, once he’d started talking he couldn’t shut up and all three sessions had run over two hours. The anonymity definitely suited him, because no way in hell could he confide in anyone face to face. Shrinks had a legal duty to patient confidentiality, but the last thing he needed was to be spotted visiting a psych by some overzealous local. He’d been in that position before, caught sneaking in to appointments or a rendezvous by relentless paparazzi, and he hated having his private life plastered across the tabloids. It was the one downside of fame he’d never gotten used to.
Chatting to a faceless psychologist had another bonus: the session could happen at a time that suited him. He’d always produced his best work late at night, when he’d sit in a low-lit room, pencil and notepad in hand, jotting down lyrics and melodies at will. Having the freedom to chat to someone any time he liked helped him divulge thoughts he’d otherwise be reluctant to.
The psych had helped him re-evaluate priorities and what letting go meant. Because once he started delving beneath his guilt—for those deaths, for not being around for Isla, for not fighting hard enough when Tash walked away—he realised how much his pent-up resentment was holding him back.
Knowing he’d let Tash walk away had particularly bugged him, because after he’d left Melbourne and landed in LA he’d spent several weeks bagging her, both in