back to his studio apartment, she threw her usual reservations to the wind, and ended up losing her virginity and her mind to the sexiest guy on the planet. He owned her from that moment, body and soul, and she’d loved him wholeheartedly, unreservedly.
‘We fell in love, shared our hopes and dreams. He had an amazing talent and his band was going places. When I fell pregnant, I didn’t want to force him into making a really hard choice, so I broke up with him.’
Isla’s eyes screwed up, as if she were pondering a particularly difficult maths problem. ‘So he knew about me but chose to go anyway?’
‘I gave him no choice. I drove him away deliberately so he wouldn’t think he had to stay out of guilt.’ The reality of how she’d driven Kody away was something she could never discuss with her daughter. Tash patted her chest. ‘This was my fault, Isla. I didn’t want him resenting me if he stayed to be with us so I was really mean and made sure he left.’
‘How?’
She should’ve known Isla wouldn’t let this go easily. ‘The specifics aren’t important. But what is important is that by some strange twist of fate, your dad’s here and living next door for a while. How do you feel about that?’
Isla’s gaze dropped to the shredded serviette in her hand and she put it on her plate. ‘I want to meet him properly. As his daughter, not just some kid he bumped into by the fence.’
‘Would you like me to arrange it?’
Isla bit her bottom lip and nodded, and once again Tash had to clamp down on the urge to haul her in for a comforting hug.
‘Do you want me to be there?’
Isla remained silent for a moment then said, ‘Maybe at the start? Then you could leave us to talk?’
‘That sounds like a plan.’
Isla fell silent again, her expression a mix of fear and hope, propelling Tash around the table to lean down and wrap her arms around her daughter’s shoulders. Isla stiffened but she didn’t shrug her off and Tash was grateful for that.
‘This is a lot to handle and I’m incredibly proud of you.’ Tash dropped a kiss on Isla’s head and straightened. ‘And I think this calls for me to ditch my anti-soft-drink rule for a day and pour us both a cola.’
‘You let me swear before too,’ Isla said, the return of her sass giving Tash hope they could cope with whatever challenges came their way when Kody entered their family unit. Hope they could move forwards with a suitable arrangement that had Isla’s best interests at heart. Hope that whatever the future held, they would never lose this incredible mother–daughter bond that was Tash’s life.
CHAPTER
10
Fury surged through Kody after Tash left, making his hands shake and his head pound. He kicked out at a stool, upending it, before his gaze landed on the guitar in the corner and bile rose in his throat at his utter helplessness. Yelling at Tash to get the hell out hadn’t put a dent in his anger. He needed to get out of here, to blow off steam, and he knew just the way to do it.
Grabbing keys off the labelled row of hooks above the entry table, he stormed into the carport and headed for the quad bike. Yanni loved any kind of all-terrain vehicle and the band had gone ag-biking in Nevada, California and New Zealand. Yeah, a fast ride would clear his head and calm him down so he could think this through logically.
What did he know about fatherhood? Nothing.
What did he know about mentoring young girls? Nada.
What did he know about patience and commitment and being a role model a child could look up to?
‘Fuck,’ he muttered, snagging a helmet from a storage cabinet and jamming it on his head before climbing onto the bike.
It started after several attempts and he revved the engine before letting out the clutch and accelerating out of the carport. He followed a roughly hewn path across a paddock towards a dam. He let the throttle out once he cleared the first paddock, picking up speed. The wind in his face, the roar of the engine and the blur of trees in his peripheral vision served to distract. He needed this, needed his rage to abate. Back in the house it had nowhere to go but out here, he could contemplate Tash’s shocking revelation without wanting to break something.
He’d never dealt with frustration well.