risk because it was her. His Tash.
The kicker was, his yearning to be with her had nothing to do with her being the mother of his child and everything to do with his own selfish needs. Namely, she was the only woman who’d ever really got him. And the years apart hadn’t eradicated that. If anything, the older, wiser versions of themselves seemed to meld even better than before.
He understood her reservations. He had the same himself, especially about what would happen to his relationship with Isla if he started something with Tash and it all went pear-shaped. But he hadn’t got this far in his life without taking risks and he believed this one was worth it. Why couldn’t she feel the same?
As he turned into Fitzroy Street, familiar aromas thrust him back in time. Sautéed onion and garlic from the best pasta restaurant in Melbourne, cumin and garam masala from a spicy Indian café, and lush cinnamon and vanilla from a gelateria. He’d sampled them all with Tash by his side and being back here without her seemed … wrong.
Shaking off his nostalgia, he pushed through the main door of the Princeton. Yanni would be in the back room near the pool tables and as he wound his way through the bar, empty save for a few bar staff cleaning up after patrons who’d probably stumbled out of here only a few hours earlier, Kody wondered what would have happened if he’d never taken a chance and gone to LA. Would he still be here, performing gigs, wishing for something more? Would he be in a relationship with Tash? Married? Regretful and bitter that he hadn’t chased his dream?
That’s when he realised she’d given him the ultimate gift.
Freedom.
Because she was right, damn it. If she’d told him about keeping the baby, he wouldn’t have abandoned her. Considering his upbringing, when he’d yearned for a stable family and parents that loved him, he never would’ve left. But he would’ve stayed for the wrong reasons. Obligation didn’t make for a good relationship long term and his regret may have turned him into a shitty dad too.
It was time to let go of his lingering resentment towards Tash and move forwards. Who knows, maybe she sensed that in him and that’s why she’d shot him down when he mentioned a relationship?
Only one way to find out.
Once he’d wrapped up business in Melbourne, he intended on heading back to Brockenridge to sort out his future.
As Kody entered the small back room reserved for bands to chill between sets, he spied Yanni scrolling through his phone and emotion tightened his chest. Yanni was the brother he’d never had and he’d stood by him through so much. He hoped he would understand the decision Kody had made.
‘Hey, bozo,’ he called out, and Yanni’s head lifted, a goofy grin spreading across his face.
‘Hey, putz.’ Yanni stood as he approached and they embraced, slapping each other’s backs, before releasing. ‘Apart from the limp, you look good. Country air suits you.’
‘It does.’ He sat and rested his forearms on the table. ‘It’s weird being back in Melbourne after all this time.’
‘Yeah, especially considering it’s your home city.’ Yanni slugged him on the arm. ‘So tell me everything.’ He shook his head. ‘I can’t believe you have a kid. What’s she like? How are you getting on? How’s Tash?’
‘Isla’s great. And she’s into music, which is fantastic. She asked me to teach her guitar so I’ve been doing that. She’s a quick study.’ His throat tightened and he cleared it. ‘And she’s accepted me like I’ve always been around, which is pretty damn amazing.’
‘I’m happy for you, mate. Do you have any pics?’
‘Yeah.’ Kody slid his mobile out of his pocket. He hadn’t taken a lot of photos of Isla because he hadn’t wanted to creep her out, but he’d snapped a few when she’d been practising guitar, and a couple when they were watching some crappy reality show. Different angles, different lighting, but all highlighting how damn lucky he was to have a kid like her. ‘Here.’
He held out his phone and Yanni’s eyes widened. ‘Shit, man, she’s the spitting image of Tash, but she has your eyes.’
‘Yeah, I know, freaky.’
Kody scrolled through a few more pics, resisting the urge to puff out his chest with pride at how amazing his daughter was. When he pocketed his phone, Yanni pinned him with an astute stare.
‘You’re not coming back to the band, are you?’
He should’ve known his best