looked away, but not before she glimpsed something akin to fear in those dark depths. ‘There was an accident with fireworks at one of our concerts in Wellington. It caused a stampede.’ He dragged his gaze back to meet hers and the depth of his agony snatched her breath. ‘Seven people were killed.’
‘I’m so sorry,’ she said, her apology sounding trite in the face of his devastation. She wanted to go to him, to take him in her arms and ease some of his pain. But she’d given up that right many years ago, around the time she’d convinced him she’d given up their baby.
And just like that, the wooziness was back, making her clutch at the table. Kody had met Isla. Now Tash had showed up on his doorstep, it wouldn’t take him long to do the maths and figure out she’d lied to him and stolen something major from him: the chance to raise his daughter.
She had to tell him the truth. Now.
But he looked so … broken. The deaths of those concertgoers must be weighing heavily for him to hide out here. She had to be smart about this and ease into the news of Isla’s paternity rather than blurting it like she wanted to.
‘Was anybody else injured? Everyone in the band okay?’
He glared at her like she had no right to ask and the depth of his animosity towards her made her chest ache. His opinion of her shouldn’t matter after all this time but it did. An opinion that would get a hell of a lot worse in the next few minutes.
‘Twenty-three others were taken to hospital, minor casualties from broken wrists to cuts and abrasions. The band is fine.’
Except him. She could see it in the devastation he tried to hide by blinking. ‘Are the guys joining you out here?’
‘Rock Hard Place are on hiatus,’ he said, a haunting edge underlying his icy tone. ‘I’ve walked away from the only thing I ever loved.’
Ouch. But she’d always known music was his first love—his only love—which is why she hadn’t made it hard for him to choose between her and their child or stardom.
‘How long are you in town for?’
He shrugged, drawing her attention to the breadth of his shoulders. Stupid, to notice a thing like that at a time like this. He’d been lean back in Melbourne, wiry, but he looked like he’d been working out since and she irrationally missed being alongside him to see the changes over the years.
‘Don’t know.’ He tapped his temple. ‘As long as it takes to get my head back in the game according to the boys, but that may never happen.’
‘You’d seriously walk away from your music?’
‘I have no frigging idea,’ he snapped. ‘I can’t face touching a guitar let alone singing.’
The urge to go to him was stronger this time and she stood, eager to escape. ‘I’m really sorry you’re going through some tough stuff. And I know me showing up on your doorstep is a shock for both of us, but Isla mentioned she’d invited you round for dinner and when I heard your name I thought it couldn’t be you but I couldn’t take the chance of us meeting in front of her for the first time.’ Damn it, she was rambling like an idiot. ‘I need to tell you something.’
‘I’m not really interested in what you have to say, Tash.’ He pinched the bridge of his nose, a familiar gesture that made her breath catch. ‘For however long I’m stuck here, you stay out of my way, I’ll stay out of yours.’
Bitterness radiated off him, and she didn’t blame him. How much worse would he despise her when she confessed?
‘This is important,’ she said, her voice quavering, and she cleared her throat. ‘It’s about Isla, my daughter. She’s almost thirteen.’
His eyes widened in shock. ‘Thirteen … but does that mean … is she …’
Every self-preservation mechanism in her body insisted Tash turn and run. Divulging the truth would have far-reaching consequences for them all. She’d never envisaged crossing paths with Kody ever again but somehow he was here, now, and she couldn’t lie to him, not again.
‘Yes.’
That one loaded syllable hung in the air between them as their gazes locked, his stunned, hers apologetic.
‘She’s mine?’ He sounded furious and hopeful and wondrous.
She gave a brief nod, watching the colour drain from his face as he staggered and sank onto the nearest chair.
‘She’s mine,’ he murmured, a statement this time, not a question, as