thought of not having her baby with her for weeks … it hurt worse than she could’ve imagined.
She’d never get to spend the holidays with her daughter again. She’d be the serious parent, overseeing homework and extracurricular activities, while Kody got to do all the fun stuff. She’d miss out on Christmas and Easter and other holidays when they’d usually lounge around in their pyjamas all day, eating junk food and binge-watching old favourites like Gilmore Girls.
Tash considered herself practical. She’d always made the best of her life, even when things had got tough. But for the first time in ages this situation had her floundering. What would she do with all that time on her own? No driving Isla around, no movie marathons on the weekends, no lunches to make. She’d been single and independent in Melbourne and loved it. But her world had shrunk considerably since then. Sure, she’d been thinking of finishing her degree but that would only take up so much time.
‘I know it seems like a lot when the weeks are consecutive, like the six weeks in the summer holidays, but she’ll live with you the rest of the time …’ He trailed off when she staggered to the nearest dining chair and collapsed onto it. ‘This is fair, Tash.’
‘I know,’ she murmured, her response barely above a whisper. ‘It’s just that I can’t imagine not seeing my baby for that long. All summer …’ Tears filled her eyes and she tried to blink them away, to little effect as they trickled down her cheeks. ‘I know this had to be done and you deserve to spend as much time with her as possible, but seeing it in print is very different to thinking about it.’
Tash expected him to apologise for taking control of the situation and doing it on his own, especially after last night. She expected comfort, kind words. But when she dashed away her tears and looked up, he was staring at her with something akin to regret.
‘This could’ve been so different if I’d known about her all these years,’ he said, folding his arms.
‘We’re back to this? After all that’s happened?’
‘We slept together, Tash, and you think that should wipe away the first thirteen years of my daughter’s life—the years I’ve missed?’
He was deliberately trying to hurt her. That could be the only reason for him reducing everything that had happened—building a relationship with Isla, recovering from his trauma in Wellington, accepting her help, growing closer—to a shag.
A deep-seated ache expanded in her chest, potent and strong, until she could barely breathe. ‘You need to leave.’
‘This shouldn’t change our friendship, Tash, for Isla’s sake.’
‘Thanks for the reminder but I’ve always put Isla first.’ She stood and stomped to the door, belatedly realising he couldn’t walk the distance between their houses without a detrimental effect on his ankle. ‘Let’s go, I’ll drop you off.’
Wisely, Kody kept his mouth shut for the short drive and when he got out of her car and closed the door, she took great pleasure in doing a burnout in the dust.
She hoped he choked on it.
CHAPTER
39
The following Friday night, Kody sat at a darkened table at the back of the roadhouse, casting surreptitious glances around in the hope of seeing Tash. She’d be working tonight; all hands on deck for the blues night according to Ruby. The owner was a lot younger than he’d imagined and she’d been thrilled he’d agreed to perform tonight. She’d been accommodating with his request for anonymity too and had a plan to keep the locals in line. He hoped it would work, because if the media got wind of his whereabouts, his quiet life over the last month or so would be gone, and he wasn’t quite ready to give it up yet. He wanted to spend more quality time with Isla and mend fences with Tash, who’d avoided him since he’d handed her the custody agreement, only communicating through brief texts about times she’d drop Isla over.
He didn’t know why she’d reacted so badly to the agreement. He’d been more than fair and since they’d slept together he wanted to ensure everything had been spelled out before they pursued … whatever it was they’d be doing for the rest of the time he was in town.
So much for that.
He couldn’t get that night out of his mind. Back when they’d first met she’d been shy about her body, and he’d been more than glad to educate her. What she lacked