low as he shook his head. “Jack…”
“I missed you,” I said, staring back at him. “I missed you so much, Austin. You have no idea.”
“You told me I didn’t mean anything to you, Jack.”
“That’s not what I said,” I replied. “That’s just what I let you think. I just… I let you put words in my mouth because I was… fuck. I don’t know what the fuck I was even thinking.”
“It doesn’t matter what you were thinking or weren’t thinking,” Austin went on. “The fact is that we’re just not on the same page, Jack.”
“Yeah, but we were always on the same page, at least when it came to one thing.”
“Jack—”
“Can you really look me in the eye and tell me that you don’t miss the way I touched you, Austin?” I whispered. “When you’re alone in bed at night… you don’t miss the way I fucked you? You don’t miss the way I made you come?”
“Didn’t we just get out of this?” Austin let out a heavy sigh. “Jack, I don’t… I just think that we’re making things too complicated for ourselves if we keep going back and forth—”
“It doesn’t have to be complicated,” I offered. “I can just take you back to the cabin and fuck you until you scream. Doesn’t that sound pretty good to you right now?”
“Is that really all you see when you look at me?” Austin murmured. “You look at me and you see a quick fuck?” Austin slightly shifted away from me before he asked, “I really don’t mean anything more than that to you, do I?”
“Don’t make me do this right now, Austin.”
“Don’t make you do what?”
“Don’t make me admit that I’m a fucking idiot,” I started. “Don’t make me admit that I don’t even know where to begin when it comes to how I really feel about you. And don’t make me stand here and try to give you an answer about the future when I barely know anything about the present. I don’t know anything, Austin. I don’t know a goddamn thing. The only thing I know for sure is that I—”
I brought my hands up to Austin’s waist before I finished with my thought. “All I know is that I like you, Austin Williams, for better or for worse. I know that I miss you when you’re not around. And I know that after seeing you at the sheriff’s station today, I wanted nothing more than to… be close to you again, in whatever way you’d have me.”
“But you still don’t want anything serious, right?” Austin pressed. “You still don’t want anything real?”
“Austin, fuck.” I groaned. “I don’t know what I want, okay? Is that what you want to hear? I already told you, the only thing I know for sure is that I want you. Right now. Do you want me, too?”
“I do,” Austin admitted, his eyes drifting back toward mine. “Fuck. I really, really do.”
I couldn’t remember anything that happened from the road to the cabin.
The entire trip had felt just like a blur, like a daydream I couldn’t quite recall, no matter how hard I tried. All I remembered was that Austin had told me that he wanted me too, that he was okay with us going back to my cabin, that soon enough he was going to be back in my arms for the night.
And almost as soon as Austin and I stepped through the cabin’s front door, my hands were all over his body. I was being greedier with him than I’d ever been before, kissing him only in the places that I wanted to kiss him, running my fingers only along the dips and valleys of his chest and abdomen that I sorely missed exploring.
And when my fingertips got stuck on a loose piece of fabric on his t-shirt, I couldn’t help but let out a low growl, annoyed that it was preventing me from touching Austin in the exact way that I’d been so desperately craving.
“How much do you care about this shirt?” I tried to keep the question casual even as I tugged at its fabric, close to his chest.
“This shirt? I’ve had it for a few years. Kind of an old reliable for interviews and—Jack!”
I was already pulling Austin’s t-shirt apart, ripping it away from his skin. I then hastily reached down toward his pants and boxers before I expertly pulled them both down to the floor in one swift motion.
After that, I pressed Austin’s back against a nearby wall,