that clogged her throat. God, everything was so screwed up, and now she had to truly grow up. Bills, relationships, and a future that felt uncertain. “I have to start living on my own.”
Rex nodded. “I guess it’s official—you’re a big girl.”
“Ha.” Ellery pushed her chair back. She needed to find her mother and apologize for thinking the worst of her. Why hadn’t she asked her mother about Chicago? She wasn’t sure. Maybe because she liked the anger she felt toward her mother . . . even enjoyed that her mother didn’t know why Ellery was so distant. Daphne was the kind of person who was good at everything—she never left something undone, never half-assed, never screwed up. Ellery had found perverse comfort in the thought her mother wasn’t so damned good after all. Somehow it made Ellery more of an equal, as if the blemish on Daphne’s morality counteracted Ellery’s own failure. That thought was fucked up, but Ellery knew it was true. “This big girl has to go apologize to her mother for believing the absolute worst of her.”
“That would be nice.”
“And perhaps you need to do the same, Dad. Take some of that therapy you’ve been immersed in and apply it to your life. Own your mistakes.”
She didn’t wait for her father to argue. Instead she turned and left the restaurant. Her phone buzzed in her pocket.
Where are you? Thought you were getting coffee?
Ha. She was the one who needed caffeine. The events of the night before had tag teamed her dreams, making her toss, turn, and doubt everything she’d so carefully planned. Her fiancé hadn’t moved when she’d crawled into bed after leaving her stupid leather bustier on the bathroom floor with the pooled fishnet stockings. She’d scrubbed the red from her lips, wishing she could scrub away the taste of Gage as easily. It felt as if he’d imprinted himself on her. The way she’d felt in his arms, the taste of him, the smell—all of it conspired to undermine her intentions for her life.
When she woke that morning, Josh had been sitting next to her, tapping away at his computer. Alarm slammed into her, making her eyes fly open. Oh God. Did he know she’d been on his computer? Had she done enough to cover her tracks?
But when he felt her wake, Josh turned to her and smiled. “Morning, sleepyhead.”
“Morning.”
“You weren’t here when I got back last night,” he said.
“I went out for a walk. I felt . . . cagey for some reason.” Or maybe it was the gay porn on your computer.
“I tried to wait up, but that bourbon snuck up on me.” He stopped tapping on the laptop and reached over to run a hand through her hair. “Gosh, you’re pretty when you wake up.”
Guilt threatened to strangle her. She was such a bad person. Horrible. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here.”
Josh’s blue eyes softened even more. “I get it—it’s all these people. Tonight will be even busier. Don’t know why your mom and friends thought this would be fun. I mean, it’s nice, but kind of . . . I don’t know, pretentious.”
Ellery pushed her hair out of her eyes. “You’re the king of pretention. Aren’t you wearing designer pajama pants?”
He looked down at the material between his computer and lap. “You bought them for me.”
“Touché,” she said, wiping her no-doubt puffy eyes. “I’ll make some coffee.”
“Good luck. The coffee maker’s not working.”
“What? No coffee for you? Great.” She slid from the bed. Since she’d abandoned her sexy lingerie, she’d had to sleep in a T-shirt and the thong. The thong had been as comfortable as dental floss up her ass. Granny panties were so undervalued by people her age. “I guess I can run up to the bed and breakfast and grab you some. I’ll also let them know the coffee machine is broken.”
“I could do it,” Josh said, his attention already back on his computer.
“You finish whatever you’re doing so we can have breakfast together.”
“I have a lot to do, babe.”
Ellery sighed.
Josh looked up at her. “But we will have breakfast. I have to get back to Shreveport for a big review for the test next week, but I will stay for the tour. How about that?”
“Goodie.” Ellery may have sounded sarcastic. Okay, she totally sounded sarcastic, but she didn’t wait around to listen to Josh’s stupid apologies or excuses. She’d heard them all by now. Their future. Every test mattered. He had to pull his weight for the