my surprise. Though I have to say that I’m feeling weird about it. We’ve been corresponding for a while, and I know we’re friends. Still, it’s . . . am I the only one feeling awkward?
Do you want to meet for a drink later? I don’t know how to handle this, and I’m not sure why you didn’t tell me that the surprise weekend was here at the vineyard. I’m confused.
Best,
Evan
Ellery slid her phone from her cute crossbody bag and sighed. No messages from Josh. She’d thought he’d text her something. An On the way or I can’t wait to see you, beautiful, but he hadn’t made any contact since she’d hung up on him earlier. And ever since she’d seen Evan’s email about his being confused, she’d avoided responding to him. Because, hell, she was confused, too. She didn’t know what to do about him and the lunacy she’d perpetuated by emailing him almost every day.
She looked around the dinner table and at that moment hated everyone.
Even stupid Evan.
The man had looked so warmly at her mother, and Ellery could see he was attracted to her. It was supposed to be Ellery he was entranced by. She was the one who’d laid her heart bare and made the connection. When he’d glanced her way, his expression had been friendly but impersonal. Of course, it made sense that he’d feel that way. Ellery’s deception had hog-tied her into a prison of her own making. She wasn’t supposed to want Evan to be attracted to her. She wasn’t supposed to have sexy dreams about the insufferable, judgy bartender. She wasn’t supposed to have these doubts about her fiancé.
What she was supposed to be was happy, but that felt impossible.
Why were all these people even here? Because her mother was footing the bill for a stupid birthday party for a stupid girl who thought the world owed her streamers and cake? Was that it? Free booze and a room for the night? Hell, she couldn’t even rely on her fiancé, a man who supposedly loved her, to show up for her birthday weekend. Okay, fine, he was coming, but only because she’d essentially threatened him with ending their engagement in order to get him there.
And even after threatening to give his ring back, when she’d called Josh earlier, the man had tried to get out of coming that night.
He’d greeted her with a simple “Having fun, babe?” and then launched into “Hey, listen, I’m not sure I can make it.” At those words, she’d felt like he’d ripped her heart out. Hurt had poured into her like a flash flood overwhelming a sewer drain. For a moment she thought she might not be able to breathe past the pain.
Then she got angry. Really, really angry.
“You better get your ass down to Mia’s car when she gets there, Josh. I mean it,” she’d said in a calm but furious voice on the phone.
“Elle, I know you want me to come, and I know I promised, but you don’t understand. Schwartz rescheduled the exam for no reason. We’re going to have to put in extra—”
“I don’t give a fuck when the test is, Josh. You have put off everything for the past month. No! Two months. I’ve been going solo to everything we’ve been invited to. This is my birthday, and though I really don’t care about the party and balloons, I do care that my fiancé spends time with me. You promised me one night where you would not study, would not talk about school, and would not treat me like a leper. I’m claiming it, buddy. So tell your study group you have plans, and get your ass downstairs.”
“Elle, baby—” he started in his plaintive, you’re-being-so-irrational voice.
“Do you love me?” she’d demanded, pacing outside the bar where her mother and friends sat swilling craft cocktails and laughing. Like normal, happy people.
For a second . . . two seconds the line was silent.
“Of course I do,” he said.
Something in his voice sounded weird. Like maybe he was lying. But that couldn’t be true. She’d done nothing to extinguish any part of the love he’d sworn he felt for her. She’d done everything right. She’d supported him, given him pass after pass, made him cookies, taken him cupcakes, even drawn him a freaking Epsom salt bath when his back hurt from studying too long. No, Josh loved her. They were perfect for one another. Everyone knew it. They were going through a rough patch.