obviously been watching a show about buying houses at the beach because it was still running, the sound muted now.
“So why did you change your mind?” she asked, folding up one leg beneath her.
Leave it to Belinda to ask outright instead of hoping the topic naturally came up. Fitz wasn’t used to making naked confessions. Even before he’d come to Azalea, he’d been a private person. But if there was any hope of making this work, then he needed to be as honest with her as he could. “I don’t know really. I just kept thinking about our conversation earlier. About how you would have wanted to give us a chance. I think I’ve just been telling myself for a long time that even if you were kind of interested in me, you wouldn’t have wanted a real relationship with me. I mean, look at you. And look at me.”
She rolled her eyes in that way she had when he was being stupid. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“You know what it means. You’re beautiful and smart and successful and loved and respected by everyone. I couldn’t imagine you wanting to hook up with a barely employed stray.”
“You’re not a stray. Almost everyone really likes you, and the people who don’t aren’t people whose respect I care to obtain. And everything else is something you’ve chosen. You could have a job if you wanted. You could have a better place to live and better clothes if you wanted.”
“But I don’t want that.” His stomach had churned slightly as warning bells started to clang in his mind. “Belinda, I do want to give this a try. I haven’t committed to anything in years, but I’ll commit to trying this with you. But I can’t commit to anything else. I’m not going to be a different person. I’m not going to change my whole life. If that’s what you’re hoping—”
“No! I’m not. And I’m kind of offended that you’re assuming I would. Do you really think I’m the kind of person to expect a man to elevate his station just to be with me?”
He reached over to take her hand, unable to stop himself from touching her. “Of course I don’t think that about you. But anyone might hope for a little improvement. It’s not like I’m much of a catch.”
She frowned, obviously thinking through how she was going to respond. As he waited, Fitz told himself that this would decide things. If she wanted him to change, then he’d know this would never work. Because no matter how much he wanted Belinda, he could never go back to the man he’d been before.
She said, “I don’t care about any of that. If this life makes you happy, then it’s fine with me. All I’ve ever known of you is the shaggy eccentric who wanders around town and always gets on my nerves. That’s the man I’m into. I might not even want you anymore if you turned into someone else.” Her eyes were big and warm and sincere.
Fitz gulped at the rush of pure feeling. It shuddered down his spine. Dampened his palms. Tightened in his stomach and groin. “Is that right?” he asked thickly, rubbing her palm with his thumb.
“Yes. That’s right.” Her voice was a little gravelly too, and her cheeks were redder than ever. “So we’re good to try this?”
“Yes. We’re good.” He extended his caress of her hand down to her wrists, stroking the delicate skin with the pad of his thumb. He could tell she liked how it felt. Her breathing had gotten a little ragged, and she shifted her hips restlessly. Her responsiveness to the small touch was really doing it for him. He was already growing hard in his pants.
“Do you think...?” She bit her bottom lip when he dragged his fingernail lightly up the inside of her wrist. “Do you think we should keep this to ourselves for a while? Until we know it’s going to work? I’m just thinking about how things go here. Everyone will assume we’re almost engaged, and then there will be all this pressure—” She sucked in a sharp breath and let her head drop back when he moved his caress back to her palm.
“I think that’s a good idea.” He was mostly relieved by the suggestion since it would free him of the weight of responsibility he felt lurking in the back of his mind—the one that terrified him. It would be simpler—freer—if no one knew they