open arms... he’s going to be pissed.”
“It’s not like that, we’re just... fuck. Do you really think he’ll be that upset?”
“You know he will. Look at how he walked away from Calli.” I was still pissed about that.
“You know it wasn’t just the team rules that made him walk away, Zach. He liked her, a lot, and she lie—”
“She didn’t lie, she just omitted the truth.” Shit. Why was I defending her? “Come on.” I shoulder checked him. “We should go play.”
The others were already in position, watching me and Brad with mild curiosity. They had all been there last night, they’d seen me and Callum go at it... over Calli. They knew some of our history.
But no one said anything. It might have had something to do with the angry storm cloud hanging over me.
They were watching me, waiting for me to assume my role as leader. To step into my brother’s place and become their captain, their number one. It still felt wrong. I didn’t want it. I didn’t want to be here, pretending to care. Pretending to want this.
I didn’t fucking want it.
My fists clenched and unclenched at my sides. Declan was hanging onto life by a thread, and I still wasn’t free of his shadow. If anything, I was bound to it more now than ever.
“Let’s go, Messiah,” someone yelled, and I jerked out of my reverie.
I might not have wanted it, but I was good at it. They were right, basketball was a part of me, woven into the very fabric of my DNA. I was shackled to it and it to me.
Before I could overthink it, I beckoned the guys in. Because no matter how much I didn’t want this, I had it, and the need to prove myself wouldn’t let me walk away.
“Okay, the exhibition game is only a week out. I know it’s for charity, but everyone will be looking to us to win.”
The guys all nodded, mumbling their approval as I cradled the ball in my hand, feeling its weight, the same way I felt the weight of responsibility press down on my chest.
“This game could set the tone of the entire season. We don’t go out there to goof around, we go out there to win. I know it’s been a tough year.” The knot in my stomach tightened. “I know you didn’t ask for me to show up, but I’m here now and I’m not going anywhere. Last night wasn’t about the team, and that shit should have never happened.”
I made sure to lock eyes with Saul. He gave me a sharp nod. “Last year, you missed out on the championship, but this year, it’s ours. As long as we work together and stay strong.”
“Hell yeah,” Dev hollered, and everyone snickered.
“Official practice starts soon. We show up, do the work, and push hard. Anyone got a problem with that?”
Silence greeted me as I ran my eyes over each of my teammates. Callum wasn’t here, neither were the couple of other senior players. It was as if they’d already given up, handed me the gavel and walked away. Except, they hadn’t handed me anything. Coach Baxter and my father had. They’d manipulated my place here, giving the guys no choice but to fall in line.
“Okay, then let’s shoot some hoops.” I bounced the ball and backed up to the center line.
Brad caught my eye and gave me a reassuring nod. He knew why I’d done what I’d done. After last night, I needed to show the team I had control, that I was in control. Callum was a senior player, my brother’s best friend. But I wasn’t about to cower at James’ feet. He had his own demons, his own mistakes to right. Maybe I should have felt a little weirded out by the way I’d stood up for Calli, but the truth was, I didn’t.
I felt a shit ton of guilt over how things had gone down between us since she arrived at SU.
But I didn’t know how to fix it—if I should even try to fix it.
She’d made it obvious she didn’t want to have anything more to do with me, and I couldn’t blame her. But things still felt unresolved. And I couldn’t help thinking back to Maverick’s words last night about avoiding my past.
Because I knew he was right, I knew the past would come around and bite me in the ass one day.
It already had.
Monday morning, Coach Baxter called me into his office.
I didn’t expect