the air.
“You weren’t complaining a minute ago when I had my fingers deep inside you.”
“I won’t play your games, Zach,” I repeated my words from before, knowing it was a lie. He already had me entangled in his web and I knew if I wasn’t careful, I’d be unable to escape.
“No?” He stepped back, rubbing his jaw. “So what was that? Some lame assed attempt at reverse psychology?”
“Is that what you think?”
His eyes narrowed and I knew our moment was over.
“You were jealous,” I said, stepping up to him, the anger vibrating through my body smothering the lingering ripples of pleasure. “You couldn’t stand seeing Joel kiss me, so you followed me out here and—”
“Damn right, I didn’t fucking like it. He’s my teammate. I don’t need you barging in and ruining the season because Molineux has got a boner for you.”
Feeling emboldened, I leaned up on my tiptoes and pressed a single kiss to his jaw. “Keep telling yourself that.”
And then I walked away.
Zach didn’t follow me, but I didn’t expect him to.
By the time I reached my room, I was shaking. God, he made me so mad. But he also made me feel, and that was the problem.
Aside from my mom and Madison there had been one other person in my life who had made me feel loved.
Zach.
No matter how much he hurt me, it was hard to just switch that off. Especially, when he was walking around campus acting so jealous and possessive all the damn time. I knew guys brains were wired differently. I knew they could want a girl without really wanting them. And I knew this thing between us was a game I couldn’t ever win. But after Mom died, something inside me had changed. The hole she left in my heart never quite healed. It was a permanent scar. The pain and grief never went away. It just lived under the surface, waiting for the next trigger.
Part of me wondered if that’s why Zach hadn’t mentioned my mom. If he was saving me from the heartache of reliving the moment she left me… or if he genuinely didn’t care.
Either way, it stung.
Exhausted, I changed into my pajamas and grabbed my cell phone to text Josie.
Me: I’m just about to go to bed. I hope you enjoyed the kissing booth.
Josie: Joel has not stopped talking about you. That kiss was epic... But I noticed Zach was missing too. Wouldn’t happen to know anything about that, would you?
Me: See you tomorrow xo
It wasn’t that I wanted to lie to her, but I didn’t want to get into right now either. My past with Zach was complicated. It was also clearly unfinished. And until I figured stuff out with him, I couldn’t lead Joel on.
Before she replied, I sent another text.
Me: I’m going to tell him. He deserves to know, and it should come from me.
Josie: I think you’re right. He’ll be cool about it, you’ll see. Night xo
Josie: p.s. Keep your secrets, Calliope James, but if you ever want to share them, you can trust me. I promise.
As I climbed into bed and switched the light off, plunging the room into darkness, I smiled. Josie was a good friend. But weren’t good friends supposed to tell you when you were making an epic mistake?
Closing my eyes, I drifted off to sleep with only one lingering thought...
Maybe I’d keep some of my secrets a little longer.
Zach
I’d fucked up.
I shouldn’t have followed Calli from the party. And I definitely shouldn’t have pulled her into the shadows and made her come undone like that.
But she was under my skin.
An itch that no matter how hard I tried to ignore it, I needed to scratch.
She was different—harder around the edges somehow. Her fire was an unexpected trait and for as much as I hated it, I couldn’t deny it got my blood pumping.
Calli didn’t look at me and see the star player, she saw me. Zachary Messiah. The boy before all that.
It was disarming.
She disarmed me.
I wasn’t the same boy as I was back then. But she still knew me. She knew who I was before I became... this.
There was something comforting about it too, though.
It was fucking confusing.
I let myself into my apartment and kicked the door shut behind me. I could still taste her on my lips, hear her breathy moans as she came.
Calli was stunning.
It was wrong that something so beautiful could be so deceitful.
I forced down the memories. Nothing good could come from going there.