why he started, but he keeps doing it for another reason.”
Gran tried to get me to go to family counseling with him once. I declined. Then again she invited me to Al-anon, Alcoholics Anonymous for families. Another big fat decline from me. I wasn’t the one who needed therapy.
I appeased the woman: “Why?”
She reached out and brushed a lock of hair away from my eye. “Shame, baby. He’s so ashamed of what he is and what he’s done.”
That feeling was back, the one that made my throat go tight and eyes feel moist. I never thought Wayne was ashamed of being an alcoholic and a genuine fuck-up. I knew he killed himself over what happened to Jenna but—
The door opened and Wayne’s nurse met Gran’s gaze with a smile. “He’s awake if one of you want to go see him.”
Gran looked at me as if asking if I wanted to be that one person.
“You go,” I told her, then looked back at the nurse. “Can I see Millie?”
She smiled sweetly. “Her nurse will get you in a few minutes when she’s awake.”
Giving her a nod, I gave Gran a quick hug and they hurried her to the back while I paced the floor.
As I walked every square inch of that room, I found myself thinking of the irony of Colin giving me his heart and Millie giving my father her liver. I thought about how quickly my life had changed since the day she walked in—for the better. I’d lost my will to live, then she swept in and breathed life back into me.
And what the fuck was taking so long? My gaze flicked up to the clock to see that thirty minutes had passed since Gran left.
Stupid nurse was probably on her lunch break … meanwhile I was gonna have a heart attack worrying about my girlfriend.
I walked over to the door with the small window and no handles and knocked on it. The reception desk to the right was empty, and I couldn’t see a soul. My heart beat wildly in my chest as a whole manner of scenarios played through my head. Was the nurse on a lunch break or did something go wrong? Did Millie’s stitches open up and she bled out our something crazy?
Stop it. She’s fine, I told myself.
When I saw movement to my right, I sighed in relief when Gran walked down the hall smiling.
Okay. Everything’s okay.
I stepped back so that Gran could exit, but lodged my boot in the door to keep it from closing once she’d walked through. “You see Millie? Is she next to Wayne?”
Gran frowned. “They haven’t taken you back to see her yet? No, hun, I didn’t see her room. Your father’s doing well though—”
“Dr. Brown to ICU recovery, Dr. Brown to ICU recovery,” a slightly panicked female nurse came over the loud speaker. Gran’s gaze snapped to mine.
Dr. Brown was Millie’s doctor.
Fuck this.
Wrenching the door open, I pushed past Gran and headed left to where Millie’s curtained-off space was from pre-op before, but it was empty. Dizziness washed over me as a deep dark hole of panic threatened to swallow me alive. I spun in a circle, finally seeing a male nurse.
“Excuse me I’m looking for my girlfriend? Her name is—”
I heard Dr. Brown shout something two rooms over and bolted that way.
“Sir, you can’t go in there!” the male nurse yelled as I burst into the room.
Millie was still asleep, still breathing, which was good, but the doctor looked nervous. When I broke into the room, he looked up at me. “Get him out,” he said to the male nurse and then went back to Millie.
“Check her blood sugar,” he said as two strong arms wrapped around my chest and hauled me backward. This was one of those moments in the movies where you would fight the guy off, demand to be present at her bedside. But this wasn’t a movie and I had no strength left. In one instant the wind had been sucked from my sails and I collapsed into the dude behind me.
Something was wrong with Millie.
“She’s … what’s…” The shock hit me hard, something was wrong. Millie wasn’t waking up.
The nurse deposited me in a wheelchair and got down at eye level. “The best thing you can do for your girlfriend is to wait outside and let the doctor work. Doctors can’t think straight with family breathing down their necks.”
I swallowed hard, nodding as he pushed me toward the double doors.
Check her