could tell there was a sadness there. “I’ll bet you got some fancy technique you could teach me.”
I laughed. “Got a Ziploc baggie? We can do piping.”
She nodded, and as I followed her into the kitchen I found myself replaying her retelling of Ashton’s childhood story. What did that kind of life do to a person long term? To have their mother die so young and then have their father become an alcoholic only to visit on the weekends? But as I passed the hallway of pictures on the wall, I smiled. Clearly his grandmother gave no shortage of love to the children; it was evident in these walls. Maybe if one parent figure picked up enough slack, and showered enough love, then the child didn’t really notice everything else that was lacking. It was a nice thought that I hoped was true.
Ashton
I never should have brought Millie here. What was I thinking? Now she was going to sleep in the guest house, the same place I’d snuck countless girls into during my senior year of high school. It was weird and I wanted her to leave. Mostly because she was getting along so well with my family and it made me uncomfortable. It reminded me of when Jenna was alive. Having a female, having someone who called me on my shit … Jenna did that.
After feeding the chickens, I sucked down another cigarette, but halfway through I kept replaying what Millie had said when she asked me to stop smoking. The passion and care in her voice. No one had cared about me like that in a long time. I didn’t like it. I didn’t want it. Getting too close to someone meant I could get hurt, and I literally wasn’t sure I could handle another heartbreak.
Tossing the cigarette on the ground, I smashed it with my boot just as my phone alarm went off.
Fuck.
My anti-rejection meds were in the truck, which was in the shop. Oh well, one day wouldn’t matter. I’d missed a day before. The fact that I was so casual about smoking and missing my meds scared me a little. Did I want to die? If I was being honest with myself…
“Cake is ready,” Millie’s voice called behind me and I jumped. When I turned and saw her standing in the doorway, hair fallen over one shoulder, short sundress blowing in the wind, it was like someone punched me in the gut.
I fucking liked her. Somewhere along the way, even with all the insults and annoying behavior, she’d grown on me. She was a stubborn-ass persistent woman and knowing she had gone through loss like I did … it made us the same, and that scared me the most.
I nodded and she turned to leave before catching herself. “Look, I don’t want to stay when you clearly don’t want me here, so after cake I’m gonna sneak out and call a cab. Your Gran will understand, right?”
Damn, I’d made her feel so unwelcome she was willing to take a two hour cab. That would be over a hundred dollars. What was I doing? I was raised better than this.
“No, she won’t. You promised her breakfast, and I’m looking forward to whatever you cook up.” I rubbed my belly and a small smile graced her lips.
“You sure?”
I nodded. “I’d like you to stay … I just, I’m not used to people…” Fuck, what was I trying to say?
“It’s fine.” She saved me before I could mumble random shit.
With that we walked in silence across the farm and into the kitchen. We sang for Gran, we ate cake, we told stories. Slowly but surely, I was getting to know this woman, and I liked what I saw. She was kind, respectful to her elders, but there was a fire in her, and God help you if you crossed her. She was passionate about what she believed in, and that’s what I liked the most about her.
“Oh, honey, you’re too beautiful to not be married, how come no one has snatched you up?” Gran asked after opening her presents, and I saw Millie’s face fall. I knew that feeling, the one of impending doom when you had to choose to lie or tell your story.
She cleared her throat and played with the chain at her neck.
“Actually. I was married … for two days.” She gave a nervous laugh and the whole table quieted, looking confused. I didn’t want Gran to think she meant she was divorced, and Millie