in shock and I stood again, struggling to get up with my old man, who was now laughing. Once I got back on my feet, I continued to heave him backward, trying to get the smelly fucker into my apartment so I could hose him off. Millie stood there frozen with her mouth turned into a frown. I knew that look and I hated it.
Pity.
I didn’t want her fucking pity, I wanted her to turn around and go back in the kitchen. I was just about to tell her to do so when she surprised me. She shook herself a little, as if to clear her thoughts, and walked over, bending down to grab my dad’s ankles. With a grunt, she heaved him up with me, taking the load off my back.
“Where are we taking him?” she asked matter-of-factly, all pity gone from her expression.
I couldn’t meet her eyes. “Don’t. I can handle him. Been doing it for years.”
“He can sleep it off in my place if you want,” she added, ignoring me and forcing me to walk backward as she pushed his legs.
I shook my head. “My place is fine.”
This was it. The icing on the cake. One year since my twin sister died and not only did Gran tell this chick about my heart transplant, now she had seen how low my piece of shit father could stoop. She’d never look at me the same again, and for some reason that bothered me.
I didn’t know why I cared what this chick thought of me. She was a temporary fry cook with an attitude problem.
Without another word, we grunted and huffed, climbing the stairs with the dead weight of my old man. He had fully passed out now and was snoring while he stank up the halls of the apartment building.
I unlocked my apartment door and we dragged him into my master bathtub, dropping him inside with a thunk. I couldn’t look Millie in the eyes, but she was looking at me. I could feel it. I just wanted her to fucking leave me with my mess and never talk about this again.
“You think he has alcohol poisoning?” she asked suddenly.
I pulled off my shirt, which had vomit on it, and started to wash my hands in the sink while contemplating drowning my dad in the bathtub.
“I sure hope so,” I said through gritted teeth.
“I’m serious,” she hedged. “Maybe I should call a paramedic.”
I spun and faced her, hoping that she’d take my vulnerable and worn out face as a clue to fucking leave. “He’s fine,” I gritted out. “I’ve seen him worse. He’ll sleep it off, have a shower, and be asking to borrow money from me in no time.”
I stepped out of the bathroom and back into my room. Maybe that would signal her to fucking leave before I exploded. I knew she just wanted to help, but this was my shit and I didn’t want her caught up in it.
I pulled open my refrigerator and reached for a beer.
Was I becoming like him? Like my dad? The thought sickened me and I grabbed a Coke instead.
“Has he tried rehab?” Her small voice came from behind me, and I realized then that I was going to have to be a dick and kick her out.
I laughed, looking at her incredulously. She thought she could stroll in from New York and fix my old man on top of fixing my bar? It was comical. “About six times.” I took a swig of soda, eyeing the door.
She frowned, wringing her hands together nervously, staring at the scar on my chest. I could sense she wanted to ask me about it—all women who saw it did—but she never said a word. She just stared.
“Family intervention?” she said.
I lost it then. Setting the Coke on the counter, I stepped close to her and pressed up against her body, bearing down on her with what I hoped was an angry gaze. I’d expected her to back away but she just looked up at me with those fucking gorgeous blue eyes, a vulnerable and pity filled expression on her face. Being this close to her made my heart race, but I was too pissed off to analyze anything.
“Millie … don’t. I can see that you’re a fixer. You can’t fix this one. Okay?” I bored into her gaze and she just nodded, lowering her head in submission.
“Yeah. Okay.”
I stepped back, suddenly worried that I’d scared her, not intending to come off so aggressively,