together.
Lindsey and Bryce finished their vows, prayed, and listened to Mandy offer a teary reading from that same damn verse in Corinthians everyone always cited.
I was supposed to give a second reading, but I knew a better passage. I walked to the lectern without a Bible. Years of my father’s tutelage and forced Bible studies at night ended with me memorizing most of the book. The passage hadn’t made sense until now.
The church silenced for me. I looked only at Mandy.
“1 John 4:18.” I said. “There is no fear in love.”
23
Mandy
There is no fear in love.
Nate’s words rang in my mind, beyond the final pronouncement of Lindsey and Bryce as husband and wife.
He spoke every word during the reading with that playboy confidence he used to chase me. It wasn’t his assigned passage, but he didn’t recite it for Lindsey and Bryce.
He read it to me.
For me.
Everything inside me turned from a jumble of confusion into a mooshed mess of panic, anxiety, and fear. My head hurt, I hadn’t slept, and every beat of my heart threatened to shatter it into a million jagged, lovesick pieces.
I wanted Nate, but I would not marry him because we were having a baby. I wasn’t going to risk everything on a man who would use marriage as an excuse for a mistake.
I could protect my own baby, and I didn’t need a ring on my finger to justify carrying the child.
I certainly didn’t need some bad boy swooping in to play baby daddy while he beat the shit out of our best friend ten minutes before the start of the wedding.
Rick bled through the ceremony, and we’d never get the deposit back on a blood-stained tux.
Stress cracked us all, and the only tape I had to piece us together was supposed to stripe my sister’s chest so her dress wouldn’t reveal the tips of her wedding bells for everyone to see.
It’d be a miracle if I survived the rest of the wedding without any more fistfights, banishments from the party, or unexpected pregnancies.
The bridal procession crossed out of the church and into the courtyard outside. The guests lined up to congratulate the new bride and groom.
No one was throwing rice. Not good. I hiked up my dress so I could run inside for the bag, but Rick stopped me.
“Don’t bother,” he said. “The caterers accidentally cooked it.”
Well, the party was off to a good start. At least we’d have another side for the taco bar.
Lindsey didn’t seem to mind the riceless well-wishing. She leapt into Bryce’s arms and gave him a kiss. The crowd cheered, and the bridal party hooted.
I applauded, though my hands stilled as I caught Nate’s gaze. He broke away from the groomsmen and stalked towards me.
Now or never.
I had no idea if I was ready to confront him.
Fortunately, my mother bombarded me. It might have been the first time I was relieved to see her.
She snaked her hand around my wrist and tugged me off the stairs to the church. Her dress didn’t fit her, and the hoochie-momma red mortified Lindsey, but at least we’d talked her out of singing Natural Woman during the ceremony.
She’d sing it during the reception instead.
Mom dabbed her eyes with a tissue.
“You were good to your sister today.” She stroked my cheek. “I’m proud of you.”
My heart swelled. I loved hearing that from Mom so much that I let it slide that I could only do right by her if I was doing right by Lindsey.
“Thanks, Mom.”
She tucked my hair behind my ear. Brushed a wrinkle from my dress.
Frowned at how the shoes fit my feet.
I cleared my throat to return her attention to me. She smiled.
“I wish you hadn’t told me I was going to be a grandma in such a fitful way today.”
I braced for it.
“But…I know you’ll be a better mother than I was.”
My eyes widened. I nearly choked. It was as close to an apology and compliment as I could get, even if she backhanded it to me. She expected sympathy, for me to assure her she was an excellent mother. That was fine. It was the best I had gotten out of Mom in forever.
“You’re not mad at me?” I asked.
“You can’t be mad about a baby.”
“That’s what Dad said.”
“Well…” She searched over the courtyard, watching as he gave Lindsey a big hug. “He’s pretty wise about some things. Certainly not everything, but you should listen to your daddy about that. Nothing made us happier than raising you girls.”
“Really?”
“If