scrubs to murder Nate. His eyebrow twitched, but he nodded to Lindsey.
“Hey, Linds. Go get my idiot brother. Tell him to buy me a sandwich from the cafeteria. I haven’t eaten all day.”
Lindsey was already texting Bryce. She didn’t watch where she was going and nearly bashed into me. She waved a hand.
“I’m making him take me to the craft store for more tissue paper. We’ll bring you a sandwich when we pick up the walking wounded over here.”
I didn’t answer, and I don’t think Lindsey was listening. Rick closed the door behind her.
God, I hated that ominous click almost as much as I loathed the buzzing florescent lights. It was the first time I was with a doctor and a friend for this discussion, but it didn’t make it any easier.
Rick sat. He pulled off his pager and set it on the counter.
“You’re pregnant?” His voice weakened, defeated and shocked.
Just how Nate would probably sound.
I nodded. “Yeah.”
“Who…” He answered that question easily. His jaw clenched. “Son of a…how far along are you?”
“About…eleven weeks.”
“Eleven weeks?”
The entire ER heard. I shushed him.
“How could you…you’ve known for two months and didn’t tell anyone? Does Nate know?”
It sounded crazier when he said it aloud.
“No.”
“Why?”
I pointed at the door. “Lindsey’s wedding? My parents’ divorce? It wasn’t the time to tell them.”
“I know they’re fucking self-absorbed, but Jesus, even they’ll notice you popping out a baby.”
At least the blood pressure cuff came off. I’d have popped the glass on that sucker.
I took a breath to calm myself, but that didn’t seem possible. Having a male best friend wasn’t always easy. He never tried to listen or understand. Rick always wanted to fix things.
Well, this was one thing he couldn’t fix.
“My family doesn’t need any more drama,” I said. “I was going to tell them after the wedding…once I hit the second trimester and the pregnancy wasn’t as risky. Then Lindsey would be normal again, Mom wouldn’t be worried about the party, and they wouldn’t stroke out when they heard the news.”
Rick crossed his arms. “And Nate?”
“…He doesn’t know yet.”
“When are you going to tell him?”
“I already tried. A couple weeks ago. But then he told me about this brewery he wanted to open in California. He was already scheduling visits to the property. I panicked. I didn’t want to take that dream away from him. So I waited, and I hoped I’d find a better moment to tell him.”
“You haven’t.”
“The timing’s always off.”
“How can it be off? The timing is always right for something this big.”
“After the wedding. When we can actually sit down and talk and figure things out without worrying about dress fittings and dances and caterers.”
“You’re making excuses.”
“I’m thinking objectively.”
“No, you’re hiding it. Please, tell me you’ve been to a doctor.”
“Of course I have—”
“Then why? Why haven’t you told anyone?”
“Because I’m terrified!”
I said it too loud and covered my mouth with my hands. I blinked away tears and cradled my belly instead, something I hadn’t really done, a simple comfort I couldn’t believe I denied myself.
“I’m scared, Rick.” My voice wavered. The rest of my body trembled too. “I’m really scared. I don’t know what Nate is going to say. I don’t know how my family is going to react. I don’t know what will happen because I…I want the baby. It’s scary, and I have no clue what I’m doing, but it’s like…me and the baby are in it together. I have this little buddy who is keeping me calm because I know I can’t get upset and risk hurting her. Or him. I have to be strong, and I’m doing the best I can.”
Rick rubbed his face. He took my good hand and nodded.
“Okay. I understand. It’s only three weeks until the wedding. You really want to keep it quiet until then?”
“Yes.”
“All right. We will.” He shook his head. “But Nate can handle it. He should hear it.”
“I know.” I nibbled on my lip. “I don’t want to keep it from him anymore. We’ve been getting…closer. Very close. I feel like there’s something between us—and don’t say I’m imagining it, and don’t say it’s because I’m pregnant and want there to be a spark. It’s real.” I lowered my gaze. “I’m afraid I’ll screw it up if I tell him about the baby.”
“He has a right to know.”
I nodded.
Rick exhaled. “Nate’s a commitment-phobe, but he’s not a total asshole. He’ll step up.”
But I didn’t want him to step-up. I wanted him to be there with me, every step of the