to do about what might have caused her to be so jittery and distracted since she’d arrived at Whisper Creek, the real story was so, so far beyond anything he could fathom that he hadn’t even been able to process it.
And so he’d let her go. Instead of assuring her that whatever had happened in the past made no difference to him as long as she could be his future, he’d sat there like a stupid, shocked wooden soldier, not saying any damn thing at all. Even when she’d gotten up and headed for the ladder, even when he could feel her begging silently for him to say something—anything—he hadn’t been able to open his mouth.
Nothing he’d ever known could have prepared him for the things she told him. His father had been a drunk, but that was nothing compared to what Jess had lived through. He closed his eyes tightly, trying not to picture a lit cigarette, a child’s stomach.
And after she’d told him about Billy, it had been all he could do not to head to South Carolina and kill the man with his bare hands. How he could have hurt someone so precious was unspeakable. The ways he had hurt her were unforgivable.
But had Cole said any of those things last night as she sat practically quivering beside him? No. He’d been full of so many boiling emotions he’d been afraid to open his mouth for fear of frightening her with his anger.
“Y’know, for a guy who finally got lucky with the woman of his dreams last night, you sure look like hell, buddy.” Decker stopped what he was doing and sat down on the edge of his desk. “You okay?”
Cole shook his head, letting out a big sigh. “No.”
“What happened?”
He braced himself for brotherly ribbing, or a tasteless joke at his expense, but neither of those came. When he looked up at Decker, he saw his brother’s eyebrows drawn in concern, his mouth serious.
“Jesus, Decker. I am way, way over my head here.”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”
“It isn’t. I mean, it is. But it isn’t.” Cole scrubbed his hands through his hair. “Ah, hell. I don’t know.”
“Did you guys—not?” Decker tipped his head. “Because the way you left the reception, I was pretty damn sure we wouldn’t be seeing you at breakfast this morning.”
“I know.”
“Did you—figure out what’s been going on with her, finally? Is that what happened?”
Cole struggled with how to answer the question. He’d never break Jess’s trust by breathing a word of what she’d told him, but he also had no idea how to explain why they’d left the reception hand-in-hand—but had woken up this morning in their own cabins.
Well, she might have woken up. He’d never gone to sleep. After finally leaving the hayloft and lying in his bed for two hours, he’d gotten back up and walked down the pathway to her cabin. He’d gotten all the way to the door, fully intending to go in, to apologize until he was blue in the face, and to make her see that nothing she’d told him could possibly make him any less in love with her.
But with his hand raised to knock, he’d stopped. He’d realized it was three o’clock in the morning. He’d had a sudden, horrible vision of her closing the door right back in his face, and he’d realized it wasn’t fair to show up on her doorstep in the middle of the night after treating her the way he had. No, he needed to make things right this morning, in the light of day, with a few hours of reason pounded into his skull on top of the shock.
“Hey, boys.” Ma blew through the doorway with a waxed paper bag in her hand. “You having a meeting without me?”
She stopped, sensing the mood in the office. “What’s going on, you two? Somebody die?”
“No, Ma.” Decker pushed himself slowly off the desk, giving Cole a look that told him they weren’t done talking. “Everybody’s alive. Just tired from the wedding.”
She looked from one to the other of them, and Cole knew damn well she didn’t buy Decker’s explanation, but for once, she didn’t push. Instead, she sat down in the wingback chair next to Cole’s and lifted her coffee mug to her lips.
“So.” She put down the mug. “I understand we have some talking to do. Cole? You want to start?”
Cole looked at Decker, who put his hands up like he was innocent.
“No? You don’t want