He’ll never be able to see me the same way. You know that.”
“He loves you, Jess. I’d put money on it. He loves you, and he’ll be devastated in the same way Hayley and I were when you finally told us. But finding out isn’t going to make him run. It isn’t going to change the way he feels about you. If anything, it’ll help him understand you better. It’ll help him know where you came from, so you can leave it behind and move forward. Maybe together.”
Jess worked up a small smile. “It’s such a huge risk.”
“Is it worth it?”
She sought out Cole in the crowd, and this time, his eyes met hers—and held them. Oh, yes. It was definitely worth it.
But even Hayley and Kyla didn’t know the whole story.
They didn’t know about that last night in Smugglers’ Gully, and if she was ever going to be able to entertain the idea of a future with Cole—ever convince him that his place was right here at Whisper Creek—that was a story she had to tell.
She just didn’t know if she could.
Chapter 23
“Looks like a serious conversation over there.” Decker appeared at Cole’s elbow, hitching his chin toward Kyla and Jess.
“I know it. Maybe they’re discussing our dismal prospects as backup dancers?”
Decker laughed. “We might want to stick to ranching for the time being.”
“Speaking of ranching”—Cole took a deep breath—“I feel like a girl when I say this, but we have got to talk about things here. Tomorrow. We’re both burning candles at both ends, and I don’t know about you, but it’s not working for me.”
“Nope. Me neither.”
Cole spun his beer slowly. “Listen, I know you want to keep your hands in everything, and I appreciate it—and I get it, but I think maybe it’s time you let go of some stuff and let me do it.”
Decker didn’t answer—just raised his eyebrows. Great.
“I know this isn’t the time or place, but finding a time or a place these days is next to impossible. You’re out straight with the development, and you love it, right?”
Decker tipped his head, nodding slowly. “Yeah.”
“Except for the open houses.”
“Except for the open houses.” He smiled.
“You worked your ass off in L.A., Decker. You won design awards left and right. I know you worked insane hours and had no personal life, but you loved it, right?”
“I loved the designing part of it. Didn’t love the meetings. And the glad-handing crap.”
“Because you kind of suck at that part?” Cole grinned.
“Do not. Just don’t love it. That part doesn’t come naturally to me like it does to you.”
Cole shrugged. “Well, you took all the smart genes. I had to cultivate the class clown ones.”
“Bullshit. You seem to be the only one around here who doesn’t realize your own smarts.”
“Decker, you were valedictorian of your class. I barely graduated. You remember that, right?”
Decker shook his head, eyes on the dance floor for a long moment. “What I remember is that by the time you hit senior year, Dad was a drunk, Emily was dead, and I was gone. I imagine you had a little more on your mind than calculus. I also remember Ma showing me your senior year report card. Which was straight A’s, so you can quit playing the class clown card.”
“Maybe,” Cole allowed.
“You still ever think about college? Wish you’d gone?”
Cole took a long swallow. “I did for a long time. Felt like Emily was gone, you were gone, Ma was swallowed up in grief, and I’d been thrown into the deep end running this ranch without a damn clue how to swim. College sounded pretty damn good. Long hours, no sleep, no time to think about anything but school.”
Decker looked off into the distance again. “Did you ever have dreams at night? After Emily?”
“Yeah.” Cole nodded slowly, eyebrows furrowing. “I had the most hellish dreams—for years. They almost killed me.”
He took a deep breath, remembering the nights he’d wake up in a cold sweat, calling Emily’s name. Almost worse were the ones where she was happy, laughing, reaching for him, and he’d wake up still trying to get to her hand.
Decker turned to him. “This is going to sound like a stupid question, but I have to know. Are you happy here, Cole? Do you feel like you could live out your days at Whisper Creek and not feel like you missed out on something else?”
“Of course I’m happy.”
“I mean really happy. Like, don’t-ever-want-to-leave happy. Stay here, get old and gray and creaky