gentle pressure, the movements of his tongue reflecting those of his body as he stroked and caressed her.
His hands slid upward, under her dress, calloused roughness on her smooth skin, and she sighed against his mouth. They stayed like that for what felt like hours, his hands circling upward, downward, making her catch her breath as she tried to deal with the dizzying sensations.
For the first time in her life, she felt a slow upward spiraling as he touched her. She pressed closer as he squeezed her, she sighed into his mouth as his thumbs grazed her breasts. So this is what it was supposed to be like. This is what it felt like to be cherished, to be held like precious glass.
He rocked her sideways, held her head as he lay her on her back this time, ran his fingers through her hair and down her jaw as he kissed her. He was close—so close his heat was hers. His touches were gentle, skittering over her skin and leaving it tingly and burning at the same time.
He slowly, so slowly unbuttoned one jeweled button on the dress, and though she expected it to panic her, all she felt was desire. He unbuttoned a second, and then a third, placing kisses up her jawline, rendering her unable to even think for the sensations flying through her body.
But then he released the fourth button.
And slid his hand slowly under her dress, onto her stomach.
In what seemed like a single movement, she clamped her hand on top of his, pulled the dress closed, and wriggled away from him. Oh God. Oh no.
“Jess?” He reached a hand out to touch her. “Hey, what’s wrong?”
God. If he only knew. If only she could tell him. She was supposed to be telling him.
“I—I have to go. I should go. I’m sorry. I have to go.”
“Hey.” He sat up beside her. “What happened?” His voice was so gentle that it made her want to cry, but all she could do was try to pick the hay out of her hair and redo her buttons, while trying to quiet her raggedy breathing.
“I’m sorry, Cole. I—I just can’t do this. It’s not fair to you.”
“How is this not fair to me?”
“It just isn’t. I don’t think I can explain it.”
He studied her, and with his hair all mussed up and his eyes still smoky hot, it was all she could do not to lay him back down and kiss him into next week.
“We can stop, Jess.” His voice was quiet, reminding her of the one he’d used with the scared woman last week. “We can absolutely stop.”
“I know. I know we can. God, Cole. Why are you so—”
He put his hands up, and she hated the hurt that crossed his face. “Why am I so what?”
“So—God—so…perfect.” Jess tried not to let the tears boiling behind her eyes escape. “You’re so damn perfect.”
He smiled sadly. “Then I don’t see the problem.”
She stood up, unsteady. “I promise, you’ll thank me.”
“Where are you going?”
“I don’t know. I just need to—go. Just for a while. I don’t know.”
“Don’t run, Jess. Please don’t run.”
He reached out for her, and it took every fiber in her body not to lean back toward him and melt into his chest. “Don’t go, cowgirl. Whatever it is, we can figure it out. We can fix it.”
“We can’t fix this, Cole. It’s bigger than both of us, I promise.”
“Impossible. Nothing’s that big.”
Jess took a deep breath, trying to let it out slowly. Instead, her body shook. She couldn’t do this to him. She couldn’t follow him up to a hayloft, touch him, kiss him, want him—and then leave him with no explanation. It was cruel. He’d done nothing to deserve it.
“I’m sorry, Cole. I never should have come up here with you. I never should have kissed you. I never should have—”
“Never should have what?” His voice was hurt, choked, tender.
Never should have fallen in love with you.
Chapter 26
“Never should have what, Jess?” He sat still, so still, just waiting for her to answer.
“I never should have pretended to be something I’m not.”
He shook his head, confusion making his eyebrows draw together. “I don’t understand. How have you pretended to be something you’re not?”
“I’m not—not really who you think I am.”
“Don’t go.” He patted the hay bale. “Sit with me. I won’t touch you, I won’t kiss you, I won’t do anything you don’t want to do. But please, Jess. Please just tell me what has you ready