could only imagine the thoughts running through her head. Jess felt terrible. The woman was supposed to be on bridal cloud number nine right now, and here she was making tea for a bridesmaid on the edge.
“Okay.” Hayley came back into the living area a couple of minutes later and set Jess’s mug in front of her. “Drink.”
Jess dutifully picked up the mug and let its warmth seep through her chilled fingers. “Thanks, Hayls.”
Hayley picked up the envelope she’d just brought down from the lodge, scanning the return address, tracing her finger over the handwriting, lifting one to check the postmark.
Jess just breathed—one in, one out—trying to feel the air fill her lungs. Trying not to crumble.
“So”—Hayley put the letter back on the table—“If Kyla were here, she’d have all sorts of gentle ways to get you talking, but since she’s not, we’re both a little stuck. I have no idea what this is all about, but I do know this—whatever it is, we can get through it. All three of us together can figure out what to do, right?”
Jess couldn’t nod. It just wasn’t that simple.
“So with that said, and since I’m not generally known for my tact or gracefulness, why don’t we just jump right to the part where you tell me what’s going on?”
Hayley leaned forward, elbows on her knees, and Jess knew she wouldn’t leave until she knew the story, whatever it might be. On one hand, Jess loved her for it. On the other, she wished she could tell Hayley there was just a little misunderstanding she needed to work out for herself.
But Hayley would never buy it, and that was Jess’s fault. As much as she was trying to hide her fear, Hayley was seeing through her, and that was disconcerting, to say the least. Where Kyla would have hovered at the edges and eventually worked around to getting Jess to talk, Hayley had been born with the blunt gene.
And here she sat, body tense, waiting for an answer. Jess took a deep breath, counted to ten as she let it out. Took another one and did the same.
Then, “I’m Star Smith. Star Smith is…me.”
“What?” Hayley drew her eyebrows together. “What do you mean, I’m Star Smith?” She sat back, hand to her mouth, then whispered, “Oh my God. Are you a porn star or something?”
A surprised laugh fled Jess’s mouth. Oh, if only it were that uncomplicated.
“No! Not a porn star. God, Hayley!”
“Well, it’s kind of a porn star name. Sorry!”
Jess picked up one of the envelopes, then dropped it like it was too hot to hold. “Star Smith is the name I was born with.”
“Oh.” Hayley leaned forward again and fingered the other envelope, eyebrows creased. “Really? Because wow. That doesn’t sound like a name your globe-trotting parents would pick.”
Jess swallowed a snort. Globe-trotting parents. Just one of her many lies.
“So how did you end up as Jess Alcott, then?”
Jess sighed. If she’d had more time, maybe she’d have been able to concoct yet another cover story to layer over the other cover stories she’d already delivered over the years, but as it was, the second envelope had caught her off guard. Hayley finding the envelope had upped the off guard ante sky-high, and despite her best suppression techniques, suddenly all she felt was the truth wanting to come out.
Dammit.
Hayley raised her eyebrows. “Are you adopted?”
“No.” Oh, how many times she’d wished for that to happen over the years. Wished for the social worker to show up unannounced and scoop her out of that trailer and to a nice little suburban ranch where she could sleep in the top bunk, eat Cheerios for breakfast, and go to church, then off to visit a grandma for Sunday dinner.
“When—when did your name change? Who changed it?”
Jess sighed. “Right before college. I did.”
Hayley sat back. “Wow. That’s—huge. What did your parents think?”
“She—they…didn’t know.”
“When did they finally find out?”
Jess gulped, pointing at the envelopes. “Now, apparently.”
“Now?” Hayley stood up and started pacing. “I don’t get it.”
Jess took a deep breath. “I—I just needed to reinvent myself.”
“Because you were afraid to come to college with a porn star name? I don’t get it, Jess. Why didn’t you ever tell them? I mean, I know they’re overseas all the time and you don’t see them much, but seriously? How could they not know?”
Jess sighed, sipping the tea.
“They’re not overseas. Never were. I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t be able to find overseas on a globe. And there’s not really