with him to the grave. And now, the second time I try to summon the courage to be with someone, Forrest is handing it back in a trash bag like yesterday’s garbage.
“Go to hell. You deserve this miserable little life you have.” My words are venom, and I hope they burn him from the inside out.
Without acknowledging Ryan, I run out the front door. All the air in my lungs seizes, and I don’t feel myself take a full breath until I’m parked in my driveway.
The lights twinkle from my house, and I see one of the boys pass in the window as my mom follows him, yelling about something before bedtime.
That’s when I lose it, the sobs choking out of me in cathartic, rhythmic tidal waves. I know that in two minutes, when I’m forced to walk inside, my face will have to be dry, devoid of any sign of this breakdown.
Because in two minutes, I’ll have to bandage up the hurt and get on with it. Be strong for everyone else in my life, just like I always have been.
35
Penelope
The doorbell rings, and I curse as I step on a LEGO trying to get to it.
I expect to see my mom on the other side, for some unexplainable reason. She isn’t due, but I’m having a particularly rough day, and that woman is psychic when it comes to determining what I might need. She always has been with her kids, but me especially since I live down the street from her.
So I’m shocked to see Keaton Nash standing at the door, takeout fried chicken in hand.
“Hey, friend. Brought you dinner.” He holds up the large bag, full of containers, and smiles his Keaton-smile.
But he doesn’t fool me. I may love their wives, but Nash men have been on my shit list for the last five days. Ever since I discovered Forrest cheating on me with Ryan, after ghosting me no less, I am on a self-prescribed hiatus from all things Nash. Even now, just looking at Keaton, my heart stings with the betrayal his brother put me through.
“We, uh, already have something in the works. Thanks, though.” I try to dismiss him.
His eyes, a different color than the other three’s translucent blue, take pity on me. “Penny, we’ve been friends far longer than you’ve been dating my brother. Let me in.”
And because I haven’t gone into total bitch mode, you know being a mom and all, I relent and let him walk into my home. The boys come running at the scent of fried chicken, like wolves latching onto the scent of a deer.
“They’re animals.” Keaton chuckles as he serves them chicken, corn bread, and collard greens.
“They’d eat me out of house, home, and country if you let them.” I smile at Travis, Matthew, and Ames, and tell them they can eat their dinner in front of the TV.
Sue me. I’m a tired single mom who doesn’t feel like parenting at this moment in time and wants to nurse her broken heart with some fried chicken.
Keaton joins me at the table, and we begin to eat.
“Where is your wife tonight?” I ask, curious as to why he’s here alone.
He wipes his mouth after a particularly juicy bite of a thigh piece. “Late-night class at the studio. So I figured I’d come over and have dinner with one of my oldest friends.”
“Yeah, and try to talk to me about how your brother is a complete dick,” I deadpan, not feeling like small talk and hand holding.
Keaton nods. “That too. But first, how are you doing?”
I bite off some corn bread, the buttery carb doing wonders to comfort me. “Oh, I’m just peachy. As usual, holding the world together for my boys, kicking butt as a school nurse, and living it up here in Fawn Hill.”
He senses the bitter sarcasm in my tone, as I meant him too. “Penny, you don’t have to be strong for everyone all the time.”
I wipe my hands off and then lay them on the table, my ire building. “Oh, yeah? Then who is going to be, Keaton? My husband? Because he’s dead. Left us to serve his country and never came home. My friends are here, sure, but you’re not really here. In the middle of the night when a kid starts puking, no one else is here to pick them up off the bathroom floor or change their sheets. Or wait, is Forrest going to come to my rescue? My knight in shining