eyeing us with interest.
“Will you keep your voice down?” I hiss.
Lily blinks at me as if she doesn’t even know me. “I … I’m not even sure what to say …”
I blow out a frustrated breath. “What do you want to know?”
This is the moment I’ve been dreading. Let the others find out, let me go on dates with him, let him come over for dinner … but once Lily finds out, it’s …
Well, it’s real. Lily is the only one who really knows me. She was there for every late night gossip session when I first started dating Travis. On the day of my wedding, she talked me off the ledge when I thought I’d throw up before going down the aisle. Lily was the one who helped me deliver my babies, who picked me up off the floor when my husband died. She is my person, and now that she knows about Forrest, I have to actually deal with the very real feelings I have for the man I never intended to care for, much less like.
“He’s the one who you slept with. Before Presley’s wedding.” Lily doesn’t ask this, just state it.
I nod, chewing on my lip.
“Oh my God, how long has this been going on?” Her eyes look like they might fall out of her head. “And you didn’t tell me?”
A twinge of guilt sends goose bumps running over my skin. “It hasn’t been consistent. Well, not until recently, maybe the last couple of months.”
“And are you … together?” Lily looks like she doesn’t know what to make of this news.
“I honestly can’t answer that. Maybe? We weren’t, at the beginning. It was just a buddy kind of deal, if you know what I mean.”
“Pen, I can’t even believe this. Forrest! I thought you hated Forrest!”
That makes me laugh. “I did. Or, I thought he was extremely annoying. But damn, does the man know what to do in bed—”
Lily holds up a hand. “That’s my little brother now. I’ll pass.”
She has a point, so I shut up. “It was only supposed to be a casual thing, and that’s why we didn’t tell anyone. We didn’t want you all getting your hopes up like I can see you’re doing right now. It’s still so early, Lil, and we don’t want any expectations from you all.”
“Wait, all of us? Who else knows?”
Here is where I grit my teeth and swallow the guilt of her not being the first to know. “Well, your mother-in-law guessed it pretty early on. So did Presley … she caught us actually. And I guess Fletcher had a feeling and then told the rest of the Nash brothers.”
Lily’s eyes take on a wounded look that I haven’t seen very often. “So, everybody knows except for me?”
I do my best to put on an apologetic expression. “I didn’t mean for it to happen this way, it’s just that by telling you, it meant I would have to deal with it.”
“Deal with your feelings, you mean?” Her scowl lets up, softening into understanding.
I nod, looking over at Ames. “I never thought I’d want to find someone after Travis died. I have my children, and that could be enough. Forrest … he makes me feel like maybe I do want love after all. Gosh, how weird is that?”
“Believe me, it sounds way weirder to me than it does to your own ears.” Lily chuckles. “Forrest Nash, who would have thought? Honestly, though, I see how it could work between you two.”
She hasn’t even observed us together, in a romantic capacity, and already Lily could understand how we would function as a couple.
It scares the living shit out of me that I could imagine it too, on an even deeper level. Because I’d just mentioned the word love to my best friend.
How weird is that?
31
Penelope
Boxes of steaming rice and noodles, containers overflowing with sesame chicken, vegetables tossed in garlic sauce, beef coated in teriyaki mixture … it’s all laid out on my kitchen table, ready and waiting for the boys and I as we walk in the door.
“What the hell?” Falls out of my mouth before I can stop it.
“Mama, you said a bad word!” Ames giggles as he points at me.
Ignoring my youngest, I swivel around impatiently, wondering how this mirage of Chinese food appeared in my house.
“Oh, good, you’re home. Food was getting cold. Come on, boys, dig in.” Forrest walks over from the counter, carrying two wineglasses, and hands one to me.
He leans in, almost