and where did that leave me? Being a widow is heartbreakingly sad, but being one at the age of almost thirty-one? It’s terribly tragic.
Going to a wedding, alone might I add, only reminds me that I won’t attain this level of happiness again. It highlights that my person is gone, and it also carves another tiny chunk out of my barely surviving heart.
Sure, my life is wonderful. I have my boys, and friends and family who love me. But there’s always a dark cloud on even the sunniest of days.
When I walk up to the gazebo which everyone knows is Lily and Bowen’s spot, I have to smile. Isn’t it odd that we were all congregating on the spot where these two lost their virginity to each other?
“Did they have to call a meeting in the spot they did the dirty for the first time?” A gruff, haughty voice questions as I join the small group.
I bite my tongue to keep from laughing at Forrest’s observation because it’s annoying that he has the same reaction to this as I do. It pisses me off that we would have been thinking the same thing when all I want to do was forget he exists.
“Hey, babe,” I greet Presley first, planting a kiss on her cheek as she hugs me.
“Hey! You look cute.” She gives me a thumbs-up, and I clink my olive-green booted heels together.
It’s still in that weird phase of being too cold for flats or sandals, but too warm throughout the day where I end up sweating in my socks.
“Hi, Penny.” Keaton hugs me, and as always he’s Mr. Upstanding.
We’re the oldest of the crew and have run in the same circles since high school. It helps that he and Travis were good friends; there is a feeling of loss between us that we’ve never spoken about, but that bonds us.
I hug Fletcher next and ask how his latest art installation is going. Ever since he got sober, he’s been working hard at his day job and using his energy, which used to be channeled into drugs and alcohol, into making the most beautiful wood sculptures you’ve ever seen.
“Hi,” I manage to say to Forrest without rolling my eyes and punching him in the arm.
Everyone in the circle chuckles nervously. They know our banter, and as far as they know, we just have a teasing animosity. None of these people know we’ve slipped up and played hide the zucchini … twice. They all just assume we have some weird beef and always have … except not even my best friend, Lily, realizes how deep the complicated web goes.
Once I greet the soon-to-be husband and wife, and settle into the circle they’ve formed, Lily speaks.
“We’re getting married next week,” Lily says matter-of-factly.
“What is with the people in this family having shotgun weddings without the pregnancy?” Fletcher deadpans.
Bowen shoots him a glowering stare as if to say how dare his brother question anything his bride wants.
Lily only chuckles. “We have waited long enough, I think you can all back that fact up. I’ve been to enough galas and parties to know I don’t want anything fancy. And we all know Bowen would take me to the courthouse right now if I allowed him too. So we just want something small with our closest friends and family. We talked to Janice at the winery out in Lancaster, and she has the barn tasting room available for the reception. It’ll only be about fifty people, and we don’t need much help. Bowen is taking care of food using a caterer that the fire department sometimes uses. I’ve called in a favor for the flowers. My dress is already here, and I have your dresses at the dry cleaners ready for you to get fitted.”
My best friend points at Presley and me, acknowledging that she picked out our bridesmaid’s dresses. Knowing Lily, they’ll perfectly fit our body types, and the color palette she’s selected. My best friend is annoyingly perfect when it comes to events, or anything else for that matter.
And she didn’t have to explain to this group why she wanted a small wedding. It had been a few months since she’s seen her father, and I know that she’s only talked to her mother a handful of times. It was safe to say they wouldn’t be in attendance, which I both hated and loved for Lily. She is their only child, and her mom had been so dedicated in raising her.
But with