feel self-conscious about all this, but other than my sisters, I know no one in here is paying me any attention. Everyone is worrying about themselves, as is usually the case with the world.
I quickly glance down at my outfit to make sure everything is in the right place. I’m curvy and I have boobs, so it’s always an epic struggle between wanting to show off my figure and wanting to keep things as modest as possible. Because it’s New Year’s Eve, I shimmied myself into a rainbow sequined dress that always fit too small, but was too lazy to return, plus leggings and my dependable boots. My dark red hair is pulled back into a high ponytail, and gold leaf earrings hang from my ears. I think I look appropriately festive and nice but I don’t know if it’s going to be enough for this guy.
Once I’m near him though, my second thoughts are getting more powerful. He’s even more magnetic close up, coupled with this intensity that’s rather intimidating. A gorgeous girl is currently shrugging at him and walking away, and he doesn’t even watch her leave.
Instead, his eyes are now locked on mine.
Oh shit.
Now his intensity is both pulling me in like a tractor beam and repelling me like some warning system.
This guy ain’t a happy camper, and whatever I’m about to say to him isn’t going to go well.
It’s too late to look over my shoulder at my sisters, but I know they’re watching me, and for some reason I also think it’s too late to abort the mission.
So I just keep walking until I’m squeezed in between some drunk guys and I’m facing him.
“Hi,” I say to him, my mouth wide in a shaking smile, and I just hope I don’t have lipstick on my teeth. “I just wanted to let you know that I made a New Year’s resolution to say yes to new adventures and I thought I’d come over here and test that out.”
The guy blinks at me, and even in all the noise and chaos and dark light of the bar, I’m mesmerized by the darkness of his eyes. I almost don’t notice that he hasn’t said anything and I’m still standing in front of him like an idiot.
“So,” I go on, trying to keep my smile from faltering, “I figured I would come over here and see if I could buy you a drink.”
His eyes narrow, just a touch, and for a moment I feel like he’s only now seeing me, like he was somewhere else before. Maybe I’m no better than the other girls and his inner turmoil is only visible from far away, or maybe it’s not even there at all. Maybe this guy just isn’t interested and any painful narrative I saw before was just something I made up.
Then he licks his lips, those gorgeous full lips, his head tilts slightly, his eyes soften, and I can already feel the blow before he says it.
“Thanks for the offer,” he says in a very gruff, very deep, very Irish accent. “But I’m all set.”
“Oh, okay,” I say, a little too cheerfully because I am absolutely dying from embarrassment and I know my cheeks are turning the shade of my lipstick and hair. “Sorry to bother you.”
I’ve never turned around so fast in my life and I’m walking back to my sisters, wincing and cringing the whole way.
Sandra’s own cringing face looks like a Chrissy Teigen meme. “Uh oh,” she says as I approach the table.
“Sorry,” Angie says. “What a dick.”
“What did he say?”
I plop down on the stool and lay my forehead on the edge of the table. “I offered to buy him a drink and he said no.”
“But what did he say,” Sandra says again.
“He said, thanks for the offer but I’m all set,” I tell her, looking up with a groan.
“That doesn’t sound too bad,” Angie says softly. “If it makes you feel better, he was watching you walk over here. His eyes never left you.”
“Probably realizing what a freak I am,” I grumble.
“And he’s still watching,” Angie adds.
“I should wave him over,” Sandra says, and with lightning quick reflexes I reach out and grab her arm before she can do any such thing.
“No,” I tell her. “Let’s just forget him. Okay? Please? I did the thing. I went over there and talked to him. He turned me down like he’s been doing to everyone else all night. It’s fine.”
Sandra gives me a sympathetic look. “I